


On The Run

by chakochick



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Action, Action/Adventure, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Blood, Despair, Dimples, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, FBI, Hurt/Comfort, I hope you like it, I promise no one we love actually dies, I'm awful at this part, Injury, Major Character Injury, Murder, Not Really Character Death, On the Run, Saddness, Slow Burn, Witness Protection, Wounds, character death...sort of, close to canonish, running for her life, squint and you can see canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23223877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chakochick/pseuds/chakochick
Summary: This is an AU J/C story based on a book I wrote about 8ish years ago. KJ is in witness protection, on the run for her life after witnessing a crime. The Russian mafia is after her, but never fear, she has her own personal FBI Agent named Chakotay to keep her safe. Action, adventure and of COURSE romance ensue.I wrote this story and a friend of mine INSISTED that I turn it J/C - so I did...it's all her fault.
Relationships: Chakotay & Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 64
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jemabean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jemabean/gifts).



They had been driving for nearly three straight hours with no break, and Kathryn was starting to go stir crazy, not to mention the fact that her bladder was beginning to protest angrily. The highway in which they traversed was long and flat, and since it was after eleven at night, there was nothing to look at except the stars overhead. Kathryn had always loved looking up at the night sky, for as long as she could remember, but when that was _all_ there was to look at, she eventually craved something else. Tentatively, she glanced over at the driver’s seat. Chakotay was as focused as ever on the road ahead, always on duty. She couldn’t help but admire him for that; he’d saved her life many times over in their relatively short time together. She just wished that for one night, he could relax and unwind...go on shore leave so to speak.

When you’re helping someone run for their life, however, you aren’t often afforded such opportunities.

Tonight, Kathryn wanted to change that. They were approaching a small town that no doubt had a motel, a restaurant and hopefully _something_ to do. Kathryn glanced again at her driver and finally broke the silence.

“Let’s stop here tonight, Chakotay, and get a feel for the town nightlife.” Chakotay glanced over at her, watching for a moment as if waiting for the punchline to a bad joke, or for her to tell him she was only kidding, but she turned back to face the approaching lights of whatever thumbnail of a town was up ahead. “I’m just saying we should stop soon for the night anyways. I could really use a toilet, and a drink, in that order.” She turned to face him again, watching as the faintest hint of his dimples played in his cheeks, “Come on, Commander, please?” She watched him as he debated her words, and his smile grew. He’d become partial to her nickname for him, and she knew that was the kicker. With a sigh he merged into the right lane, and when the exit approached he took it. 

Kathryn felt happy for her small victory, and quickly surveyed the town for a place to stay and get some food.

The small collection of lights that made up Cochekee, Texas was very small. As they turned off the exit ramp onto the ‘main’ road, Kathryn pictured that this must be downtown; one of those ‘sneeze and you’ll miss it’ kind of places. All the downtown consisted of was a saloon (that’s what the neon pink sign overhead boasted), a Lazy Daze Motel, a McDonalds and a gas station. 

The pavement ended just off the expressway, and the rest of the roads were rust-brown dirt. Kathryn pointed to the saloon, “Come on, Commander, let’s go in there and you can buy me a drink.” She heard him chuckle but he drove past the bar, pulling instead into the motel parking lot. In his best John Wayne accent, Chakotay spoke to her as he put the truck in park, “Well you just keep your pants on little lady, let me get us some lodgings and then we can get us both something to wet our whistle.” He winked and got out of the SUV, motioning for Kathryn to stay inside. She watched him go into the small office and rent a room for the night.

Since they had flown back to the United States six days ago, they had stayed at just as many seedy, hole in the wall motels. Kathryn was getting used to the procedure and knew this pitstop would be no different. Chakotay would go in to get a room while Kathryn did her best to stay inconspicuous in the truck. Chakotay would then come out with two room keys, giving one to Kathryn. They would take their bags into whichever room they had been issued and Kathryn would wait there while Chakotay took the truck to get gas. He would pay at the pump and come right back to the hotel, parking right in front of their door. Kathryn would draw the shades of blinds, or both and wait for him to return. And so another night would be spent playing cards or watching television, keeping hidden from those that were after them.

It was becoming routine, and Kathryn hoped that tonight might be a little more fun. She had spent this time with FBI Agent Dorvan...she was hoping to spend this evening with Chakotay the man.

Chakotay came out of the office and back to the truck, reaching inside and popping the back hatch. Kathryn got out and grabbed her duffel while Chakotay grabbed his own. “What room, Commander?” he grinned.

“Room twelve. Just a few doors down.” He handed over one of the plastic card keys and Kathryn slipped it in the pocket of her blue jeans. They made their way to the room and Chakotay opened it, checking to make sure everything was as it should be before moving out of the way for Kathryn to enter. She tossed her bag on one of the beds and looked around before pulling the curtains shut while Chakotay turned on the lights.

The room was small, as she’d expected, but at least it boasted a television and fairly spacious bathroom. Chakotay dropped his bag on the other bed and made for the door.

“Don’t take too long, Commander. I’ll be waiting for you.” He smiled at that and a flutter of something she’d rather not name tightened her chest as his dimples pressed into his cheeks. She quickly covered the remark with a smirk of her own, “I’ll be waiting for you because I’m starving.”

Chakotay just shook his head as he exited the room and got back in the truck, driving it across the street to the gas station.

Kathryn peeked out of the curtains and watched as he got out of the truck and moved to the other side to the gas pump. As quickly as she could, she opened the room door and exited, glancing around quickly to make sure she was alone and to make sure Chakotay didn’t see her.

She’d noticed that the motel had a gift shop, and she’d seen something she wanted through the window while she’d waited for Chakotay to rent a room. Moving quickly, and hoping it was still open at this late hour, she went into the motel office to inquire.

The gift shop was open, and she used the cash she had on her to purchase two cowboy hats. A red one for herself and a black one for Chakotay. Palming her change quickly, she stuffed it in her pocket, hoping to be back in the room before Chakotay got back.

The fates were against her, however, when she walked down the sidewalk she saw their motel room open, and Chakotay was leaning against the door jam waiting for her, disappointment plain on his face.

Trying to quell his mood, she opted for humor, pulling her hat low over her eyes as she tossed the black hat towards Chakotay.

“This town ain’t big enough for the two of us, Commander. What say you and me meet here tomorrow at high noon; have us a little shootout?” She tipped her head back to look him in the eyes, but also to gauge his reaction. He was turning his hat over in his hands. When he spoke his voice was low, and it stopped Kathryn dead in her tracks.

“Kathryn, there are rules for a reason. The reason is to keep you safe. I’m not sure how else to impress that upon you. My job is hard enough without you making it harder by risking your life, no matter how small the flagrancy might be.

“Your world has been turned upside down, I understand that. But until I get the all-clear that this is over, you _have_ to follow the rules...please.” The last word came out as almost a whisper and she approached him slowly, very taken aback at the tenderness in his voice. With a sigh of resignation she approached him, letting him pull her gently into the motel room and closing and locking the door behind them.

“Chakotay, I’m sorry. I’m just so stir crazy. I’m not used to this kind of monotony. I know you’re just trying to keep me safe, and I can’t tell you how much that means to me. Your world has been turned upside down too, and yet here you are, protecting me at every turn,” she placed a hand on his bicep, “How about I make you a deal; I’ll try to be better at this whole ‘witness protection’ thing if you promise, just for tonight, to let go just a little and _try_ to have some fun.”

He immediately started to protest, but she continued before he could say anything, “Something tells me that the Russian mafia isn’t lying in wait in this podunk town.” She watched as his lips began to quirk up, “Come on. Have a couple drinks with me, wear your new hat and just have some fun.” She raised her eyebrows expectantly, her blue eyes shining in the dim lights of the motel room, “We can go back to being fugitives on the run tomorrow morning, okay?”

Kathryn was leaning against the locked door, her eyes easily staying on his. The gaze of his warm brown eyes always calmed her nerves, and she lost herself in their dark depths before he finally spoke.

“Deal. But I have a few conditions of my own. One - you have to clear all future motel gift shop purchases with me first, and two - you have to wear these to the saloon.” He reached behind him and handed her a box. “I found these in the gas station, and yes, I broke the rules too. They made me think of you, and coincidentally, they match your new hat.”

Kathryn opened the box and inside was a pair of red cowboy boots, with small rhinestones up the back. She couldn’t believe he’d actually bought them for her, and she felt her chest tighten at the simple, yet thoughtful gift. She tried to think of something to say, but all she came up with was a whispered, “Deal.”

Chakotay smiled at her shock and was about to laugh at the fact that he’d rendered Kathryn Janeway speechless for once in her life, but the look of gratitude on her face at this simple gift caused him to hold his tongue. 

Kathryn spent a moment admiring her new boots. They weren’t great quality and wouldn’t be comfortable to wear for long periods, but the fact that they were hers in a world where not much was anymore was comforting. And knowing that Chakotay bought them for her put that odd fluttering back in her stomach.

Chakotay moved to his own bag and opened it, sorting out something to wear, and Kathryn set her boots and hat down on the bed that Chakotay had not claimed. “Do you mind if I take a quick shower before we go eat?” He shook his head, so she grabbed her duffel and hat and headed into the bathroom. She heard the tv turn on just before she started the water.

All she really wanted to do was shampoo the desert out of her hair, so after she’d done that she quickly washed her body and got out, the shower water doing nothing to stifle the noise of her growling stomach.

Rummaging through her bag, not that she had many options, she pulled out a clean bra, a pair of panties and a white tank top. Opting for the same jeans she had been wearing, she dressed quickly. She combed her hair and worked it into a simple braid that fell just past her shoulder blades. Pulling her cowboy hat back on, she smiled at her reflection and headed out of the bathroom.

Chakotay had changed too. He was wearing a black t-shirt and dark blue jeans. He didn’t have cowboy boots to wear, but he’d put on his own hat, and Kathryn couldn’t help but let her eyes sweep over his six-foot frame. 

He looked hot. She blushed as the thought played in her mind. His t-shirt showed off the muscles in his arms and pecs, and the jeans fit just right in _all_ the right places. Kathryn got a few seconds to ogle him before he turned away from the weather channel to look over at her. He did a quick once over of her, and she let him. “Well, Commander, for a couple of desert monkeys, we clean up pretty nicely I’d say.” She did her best cowboy swagger up to him and pulled the brim of the hat down low over his eyes.

He smiled at her antics, his dimples framing his face and it made her heart soar. She could tell he was trying very hard, for her sake, to relax and enjoy himself tonight. To an outsider, he would appear so, but Kathryn knew better, knowing that he was still on alert, but for her benefit, he was going along with her fun. “Come on, cowboy, let’s go get us something to drink.”

After he tucked his pistol into his ankle holster, they headed for the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Kathryn awoke slowly, vaguely aware of sounds off to her right. She couldn’t tell where she was or if she was alone, and not wanting to alert whoever might be in the room that she was awake, she tried to take stock of her body and her surroundings without opening her eyes.

She was lying down, and she could feel something wrapped around both ankles, no doubt binding her to bedposts since it felt like she was lying on a mattress. Her arms were free, but she didn’t dare move or open her eyes to see where she was.

She realized through her haze that the sound to her right was a voice...a man’s voice. He sounded as though he were in conversation with someone, though she heard no one else speaking. Perhaps he was talking on the phone. His voice was deep and honeyed, and in any other situation, it would have calmed her.

The man in the room sounded worried, and she couldn’t understand why _he would sound worried. His voice kept moving closer and then farther away as if he were pacing, but Kathryn still couldn’t make out what he was saying._

_She grimaced slightly, her head feeling fuzzy like she was trying to listen through cotton or earmuffs. A slight throbbing pulse began to make itself known in the back of her head and it quickly grew in intensity, and Kathryn worried that she might be sick._

_She took a slow, deep breath to try to calm her stomach, working to try to remember what had happened. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good, easily judging by the state of her captivity and the sound of the voice near her._

_She focused all her energy on listening to the man speaking, realizing that he must be on the phone with someone else. Using all the strength she could muster, she finally was able to understand what the man was saying._

_“Yes, I have her, she’s safe.” He paused, “Yes, Paris is standing by for transport.” Another pause, “No, the target got away. Three men are on him. Yes, Tuvok, Ayala and Suder.” His voice moved away as he paced, but Kathryn could still tell he was close. Whatever room they were in, it wasn’t large, “Yes, I think they will be successful, I just don’t know how long it will take.” Another pause, “Yes, she should be waking up soon; once she was unconscious I gave her a mild sedative so moving her would be easier.” Kathryn heard him chuckle softly, almost as if he was trying to be quiet for her benefit. “Yes, she’s a fighter. She got in a good shot before I put her out. Thank you, sir. I’ll contact you when we reach the safe zone. Yes, thank you.”_

_Kathryn heard the phone click closed, realizing he must be talking on a flip phone. She kept her eyes shut, listening for more movement._

_What the hell was going on? Transport? Safe zone? Kathryn felt her heart rate pick up as nerves flooded her system, causing her stomach to churn even more than it already was._

_Kathryn could tell there were lights on in the room, though she had no idea what time of day or night it was. She heard another sound off to her right; a door opening and closing, and then water running. He must have gone into a bathroom of some kind. She still didn’t hear any voices in the room, so she chanced opening her eyes. They immediately began to tear from the fluorescent lights in the room, but no one stood over her with a gun to her head, so she decided to try sitting up._

_That wasn’t the best idea as a wave of nausea washed over her and the room spun for a moment. She fought back the contents of her stomach, closing her eyes until her queasiness subsided._

_When she looked again, she realized she _was_ in fact in a hotel room, or what looked like a hotel room. Glancing around she saw that she was alone in the room, save for whoever was in the closed bathroom. It seemed to her that he would be the only one she’d have to contend with in order to make her escape._

_There was hotel stationery on the nightstand between the two queen beds, and the writing was in a language she wasn’t familiar with...maybe German? That kicked her anxiety up several notches because the last thing she remembered, she was in Russia. Not wanting to have to deal with that fact right now, she looked down at her feet._

_They _were_ tied to the bedposts with two neckties, and someone had taken her shoes. She reached down to untie her left ankle, flexing her foot gingerly once it was free. Reaching over to untie the right, she’d just gotten the knot undone when she heard the bathroom door open. She lay back down as quickly as she could and closed her eyes, hoping the man wouldn’t notice her ankles or that she had moved._

_Kathryn heard him walk past her bed and over to the window. She’d noticed a laptop sitting on the small desk, and she heard a chair creak as he sat down before hearing him begin typing. She cracked her eyes open again, seeing that he was indeed facing away from her. If she was going to try to get out of here, this would probably be the best shot she’d have. Even if she couldn’t get out of the hotel, at least someone at the front desk should be able to help her._

_She still didn’t have any idea where her shoes were, but right now that didn’t matter. She just needed to get out of this room. Glancing at the man again, she could see he was deeply engrossed in whatever he was working on, so she eased herself towards the edge of the bed._

_The man was tall. Six feet tall at least. He was wearing a long-sleeved black dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and his forearms and biceps were muscular. His shoulders were broad and it looked like his thighs were thick with muscles as well. He looked like he could kick some serious ass, but Kathryn just hoped that his bulk would slow him down. Kathryn herself was small and quick, and hopefully that would lend her the advantage._

_The man had short black hair, slicked back from his forehead. His skin was tan, and in half profile, he looked slightly ethnic; Mexican, Hawaiian, maybe Native American. In any other situation, she would have found him extremely attractive. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to get as far away from him as she could._

_He turned even farther away from her, reading some report that lay next to his computer, and Kathryn knew that was her chance. She planted her right foot solidly on the floor and turned at the waist, keeping the man in her periphery as long as she could._

_Just as she sprang to her feet the bed creaked, and before she had traveled the ten feet or so to the door, he was on her._

_He grabbed Kathryn’s left arm and jerked it so hard she thought sure he had wrenched it from the socket. She cried out in pain and surprise as he pulled her away from the door and pushed her on the bed, straddling her thighs with his own, his hands pressing her shoulders easily into the mattress._

_There was no way she could move from the spot, though she struggled to get up. His hands slid down her arms to her hands, taking them in his so she couldn’t swing at him._

_Kathryn glared up at him, furious at being caught a second time. Though she still had no idea what was going on, she was practically livid with this man above her. His brown eyes held a concern she couldn’t understand, and she was getting very mixed messages from this entire situation._

_She lay still for a moment, trying to read this man’s face, but she was at a loss. His dark hair was pushed back from his forehead, and he had some sort of tribal tattoo over his left eye. His face held so much concern, she couldn’t understand why he was forcing her to stay in this room. She watched his face as he slowly let go of one of her hands. He held his up so she could see he wasn’t reaching for anything before slowly lowering his fingers to her face. As soon as his thumb pressed gently against her cheekbone, she revolted once again. She struggled to get up, and her shoulder burned where he’d pulled her away from the door._

_“Hey, be careful,” he said gently, “You have a black eye, and I just want to make sure you don’t have any bone fractures in your face.” As soon as he said that, Kathryn _did_ register a throbbing behind her right eye. Well, she thought to herself, that’s where the headache came from._

_He reached for her cheek again, and this time she let him. There was something in his expression and those warm brown eyes that told her she could trust him. She flinched when his thumb pressed into her cheekbone again, moving over both brown bones and to the cheekbone on the other side. She tried to remain on edge, but her adrenaline was waning, and between that and her general fatigue, she was struggling to stay alert. Once he seemed satisfied that she wasn’t injured beyond what he could see, he moved back slightly._

_“I want to let you go, but I need to make sure that you aren’t going to try running again. I’m going to explain to you what is happening, and I need you to stay calm and listen to the whole story. Please don’t interrupt, and when I’m through I’ll answer any questions you have. Will that work?” He eyed Kathryn warily, waiting for an answer._

_Kathryn glanced around, anywhere but at the man pinning her to the bed. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, her fingers caught in a giant knot at the back of her head. Her hair there was matted and crusty, and the back of her head was wet. When she pulled her fingers back there was tacky blood there, and glancing down at the white hotel pillow, she saw a stain of blood the size of a half dollar. Frantically turning back and meeting the dark eyes of the man before her, she silently begged him to tell her everything._

_He sighed, but then drew breath and spoke, “You hit your head yesterday. I apologize because that was my fault. I admit that your black eye is my fault as well. I had to subdue you and I hit you a bit harder than I anticipated,” he grinned slightly, “You came flying at me, ready to fight...you kind of _threw_ yourself into my fist.” He chuckled, but his face quickly turned serious. “You fell and hit your head on the concrete. Do you remember any of that?” Kathryn shook her head, trying and failing to remember the events of the day before._

_“My name is Chakotay Dorvan. I am an American FBI agent, in the command division of the Department of Homeland Security. I was in Russia yesterday with a team of agents on a mission to eliminate several key figures in a major Russian mafia regime. We had received intel that this organization was plotting a bombing attempt on our American Embassy in Moscow, as well as certain strategic points in the United States.”_

_Chakotay paused, and Kathryn could see the American Embassy in her mind’s eye. “I remember being at the embassy,” her eyes darted back and forth as flashes of memory hit her like a force._

_“We planned our hit for eleven pm local time, but mafia members were aware of our plans and were waiting for us. Just as we entered the building, five of my men were shot and killed. We became aware of a hostage situation in the building; two members of Russian Parliament and two American women. Just then we heard two gunshots.” Kathryn’s eyes went wide, “The two members of Parliament were killed by the terrorist organization. They were planning to kill you and the other woman next, but wanted to use you both as leverage to find out where we got our intel on their American targets. While we were trying to buy time, another agent and I were able to infiltrate the building and find the both of you. Just as we entered the room, the other woman was shot.” He sighed again, “We were able to get you out, but the Russians got away. We got you out of the building, with some fighting on your part,” he chuckled again, pointing at a purple bruise on his left temple. Kathryn’s cheeks pinked as she realized what he’d meant when he told whomever he spoke to on the phone that she was a fighter. She blanched in embarrassment, but let him continue. Her mind was still racing as she tried to put all of the jumbled puzzle pieces together. She was still struggling._

_“Three of my men went after the Russians who murdered the other woman, and we were chased for several hours as we tried to get you out of harm’s way. We eliminated the threat to your life, but believe that the Russian organization responsible will not stop until you have been found and killed. It is _my_ job to make sure that doesn’t happen.”_

_Kathryn was speechless. Chakotay had let go of her hands, but Kathryn was frozen in place, unable to move even if she wanted to. She had no solid memory of what he’d told her. She couldn’t even remember who she’d been in Russia with, or why she’d been in the embassy. Her mind was spinning for answers and just then her stomach began to roil once again._

_A look on her face must have alerted Chakotay to her impending need because he scrambled off of her just as Kathryn lurched off the bed, barely making it to the bathroom before dropping to her knees over the toilet to vomit._

_Her body convulsed again and again until her stomach was empty and bile burned in her throat. Closing her eyes, she crumpled to the floor, pressing her forehead into the cool tile as she tried to catch her breath. _How could this be happening?_ After a few seconds she heard the toilet flush and a large warm hand came to rest on her back, “Hey, you okay?”_

_Kathryn made a noise in her throat that Chakotay must have interpreted as a ‘yes’ because he gently slid his hands under her arms and lifted her until she was sitting up, leaning against the tub. He was kneeling in front of her holding up an open bottle of water. Kathryn took it and took a sip, closing her eyes at the feel of the cool water rinsing her mouth. Her stomach revolted again briefly at the sudden violation when she swallowed, but she was able to keep it down, so she drank a bit more. “I was vacationing in Moscow with a friend...I can’t remember,” she pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead, willing her brain to start functioning on all cylinders. She glanced back up at the man kneeling before her, concern still pinching his face. It made Kathryn’s eyes burn and several tears slipped down her cheeks, “Can I see some kind of identification, Commander?”_

_Chakotay chuckled out a sigh, but reached into his back pocket and pulled out a black leather wallet, holding it out to her. Kathryn pulled it open to a picture of him with his name beneath it and the official Federal Bureau of Investigation seal on the other side. She had never seen an FBI badge before, but it seemed legitimate. Since she’d regained consciousness, though she was still foggy as to what was happening, she felt like she could trust this man. There was something in his face...in his eyes that exuded trust, and it calmed her._

_She handed Chakotay his badge back, noticing a hip holster equipt with a pistol. If he’d wanted her dead, he could have already done it a dozen times over. Instead he’d protected her, assessed her wounds and given her water._

_Kathryn pressed her fingers into her temples as her headache still pulsed dully behind her eyes, “I thought things like this only happen in the movies,” she moved to stand up, but Chakotay was to her in a flash, wrapping his hands around her forearms and lifting her easily to her feet. As she came to stand, she marveled at the strength in his arms...in his entire body. It wasn’t a surprise that he’d easily hit her and knocked her out cold._

_He kept hold of her arms until he determined that she was steady on her feet, before backing up slowly. They walked together back into the main room, and Kathryn noticed that the pillow with the blood on it was gone. She sunk down onto the bed, and Chakotay sat across from her on his own, facing her._

_“I was in Russia on vacation with a friend of mine. I remember,” she rubbed her forehead, “I remember my passport and wallet were stolen. I was at the embassy to get a new one, but with no identification, it was taking forever for the paperwork to clear. That’s all I remember.”_

_He nodded, “What’s your name? I tried to find out anything I could about you, but like you said, you had nothing identifying you on your person. You had nothing with you except that bag.” Chakotay pointed to the floor next to the bed, and Kathryn saw her messenger bag lying there. She sighed as she looked at it. It contained a book she’d been reading, her journal and a bottle of perfume. Was that all she had left in the world? Her stomach churned again, but she ignored it, remembering that he’d asked her a question._

_“My name is Kathryn. Kathryn Janeway.”_

_“It’s nice to meet you, Kathryn,” She marveled at the sound of her full name. Most everyone she knew called her Kath or Katie. She liked hearing her name from him. Chakotay held out his hand, and she shook it gently, laughing to herself that they were just now getting to introductions. “So, Commander, what do we do now?” She wiped her eyes._

_“My name is Chakotay,” he grinned gently, an eyebrow raising._

_“I know,” she smiled back at him._

_He took a breath, “Well, _you_ go take a shower and get that blood out of your hair. It’s about two in the morning. I have a few more phone calls to make. We are in Germany now, just outside Berlin, and I have to get you out of the country by tomorrow night, so we both need to get some sleep. I don’t have any of your clothes, but we’ll make due until we can get a few things sorted out for you. We’ll be on the move for a while, and you can’t wear that every day,” he motioned to her torn and bloodied tank top. She remembered she’d been wearing a cardigan over it, but had no idea where that ended up. Her jeans were also torn at the knee and dirty, and she was still shoeless._

_Chakotay got up and went to his own duffel, pulled out a dark grey t-shirt and handed it over to Kathryn. She realized that, though it surely fit him comfortably, it would easily fall nearly to her knees. She nodded her thanks and went back to the bathroom and closed the door._

_Kathryn lay the shirt on the counter next to a small zipper bag that she could only assume was his toiletry kit, before looking up at her reflection, taking in the sight of herself truly for the first time since she’d regained consciousness._

_She had a bruise around her eye where Chakotay had hit her. She would have to figure out some way to cover it up, otherwise it would draw some serious attention. She had a scrape on her right shoulder that had already scabbed over, and her back ached. She gingerly touched the back of her head again to feel the damage._

_All in all, she looked much worse than she felt. The goose egg on the back of her head wasn’t large, and the scab there was maybe the size of a dime. Her knees were both scraped up and she had several small cuts and scrapes on her bare feet, but she was still alive._

_Kathryn pulled her tank top off and threw it in the garbage, then removed the rest of her clothes, leaving them on the counter next to Chakotay’s shirt._

_She turned on the shower as hot as she could stand and stepped into the spray. She was desperate for a long, hot bubble bath, but knew that she would have to wait...for how long she did not know._

_It took nearly five minutes and an entire bottle of hotel shampoo to work the blood and knots out of her hair, but the water finally ran clear and her long long hair hung free of it’s tangles._

_She unwrapped the shower soap and scrubbed herself clean of the blood and dirt that coated her fair skin. Her shoulder still hurt from where Chakotay had pulled her away from the door, but she could tell that nothing was actually dislocated or broken._

_When she finally felt clean, she leaned into the spray, allowing her shoulders to sag as the events of the last twenty four hours washed over her again and again. Feeling the weight of everything Chakotay had told her press down on her, she physically couldn’t remain upright as she sank down to the tub floor, dropping her forehead to her bent knees._

_Hot tears burned in her eyes and she let them fall. Her entire life as she knew it, for the foreseeable future, was over. She might not even be Kathryn Janeway anymore. While she sat there, a fake identity very well could be being crafted for her. She might never see her mother and sister again. She tried to muffle a sob as she mourned her family and her future._

_What was she supposed to do now?_

_Taking a deep breath, she turned her face towards the shower spray and let it run over her skin, washing her tears away._

_She supposed the first logical thing to do would be to stand up and turn off the water. Next she would dry off and get dressed. After that she would probably try to sleep. At some point she and Chakotay would leave this hotel room. By then, she’d probably know the next few steps._

_It was quite a thing to get used to, but it would have to do for now._

_The bathroom was quite steamy by the time Kathryn pushed the curtain open and stepped out. Using a towel to wipe off the mirror, she was glad to see color back in her cheeks; feeling a bit more like herself. The scratches and scrapes didn’t look so bad now that the dried blood was washed off._

_She pulled on Chakotay’s t-shirt, which did in fact fall over half way down her thighs. She wrapped her bra and panties in her jeans and pulled open the bathroom door._

_Chakotay was back at his computer, and didn’t turn around right away as she padded across the floor. She set her clothes down next to her bag and watched Chakotay work for a moment._

_He truly was an attractive man. He looked to be late thirties to early forties, just a few years older than Kathryn herself. His facial tattoo was certainly interesting, and she’d have to ask him about it later. She knew she’d certainly have time to learn more about him._

_Chakotay finished what he was typing and turned around. Kathryn didn’t miss the sweep his eyes did of her body, and pressed her lips together at the fact that it was more than a professional ogle. When his eyes met hers, he smiled._

_“Feel better, Kathryn?” He closed his computer and turned his chair so he was fully facing her._

_“Yes, actually,” she took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh, “Just really tired, and could really use a toothbrush.”_

_Chakotay grinned, those dimples of his pressing into his cheeks as he reached for something on the desk, turning back to hand her a blue toothbrush wrapped in plastic. “Here you go.”_

_Kathryn took it with a smile, having no idea where he’d procured it, and not caring in the slightest._

_“There’s toothpaste in my bag in the bathroom.” Kathryn nodded, padding back into the bathroom to brush her teeth. After cleaning them twice she rinsed her toothbrush and lay it on the edge of the sink._

_Chakotay’s bag lay unzipped on the counter, so after replacing the toothpaste, she used her pointer finger to lift the flap and peek inside. There was an electric razor, a stick of deodorant, and a small glass bottle of cologne. She pulled it open and smelled it. It was sandalwood and smoke and something sweet. She realized that the t-shirt she wore smelled the same._

_When she came out of the bathroom the lights in the main room were off; only the light on the nightstand was on. Chakotay had changed into a t-shirt and pajama pants and was leaning against the headboard of the other bed, reading a magazine. His pistol was lying on the nightstand between the beds, and Kathryn eyed it for a moment before pulling the blankets back on her own bed, lying down and turning to face Chakotay. He glanced over with a gentle smile. “Do you mind if I leave the light on for a bit? I want to finish reading this article.” He held up the magazine._

_“Sure, that’s fine.” She lay there for a moment, not really focused on anything in particular before finally snuggling into the blankets._

_“Sleep well, Kathryn,” Chakotay smiled at her. Her eyes came up to meet his._

_“Yes,” she whispered, “You too.”_


	3. Chapter 3

Since the saloon was just up the road from the motel, they left the truck and walked. It was nearing eleven pm, but the desert air was still warm, and Kathryn was glad for her tank top. Once they had closed and locked their room, Kathryn couldn’t help but link her arm with Chakotay’s and was silently thrilled when he didn’t pull away. She wished in that moment that their walk was farther, but in less than five minutes, they reached their destination.

The place was _just_ what she had expected it to be, and just as they reached the double swinging doors, a tumbleweed rolled past. Kathryn chuckled and slapped Chakotay on the arm, “Join the witness protection program and see the work, eh Commander?”

Chakotay rolled his eyes, his brow furrowing, but he reached forward and pulled the door open for her before entering the bar himself. Kathryn could tell that he was trying very hard to unwind and she was so grateful for his efforts.

Just inside the door was a short hallway that led to the main restaurant area. The bar was off to the right and was long enough for around five barstools, but there were several extra crammed in, though they were all empty.

The room had several wide square-shaped wooden support beams that held the ceiling up, and they also designated a dance floor in the middle of the main room. Kathryn couldn’t tell if it was actually _meant_ to be a dance floor, but there was a lone woman in the middle of the worn wooden floor with a bottle of whiskey in her hand, slow dancing to ‘I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry.’

The perimeter of the rest of the restaurant was lined with wooden tables and old worn leather booths. Aside from the woman dancing, the establishment was empty. Kathryn looked up at Chakotay, who just eyed the woman for a moment and shrugged. Kathryn’s expectant look morphed into one of amusement.

“You should ask that woman to dance, Commander.” They both glanced at the woman who didn’t seem to know or care that she now had an audience, “Look at her out there, all alone.” Chakotay watched her sway awkwardly as she spun in slow circles. She’d begun to sing along, very off key, to the Hank Williams tune, and Chakotay’s brow furrowed as he looked back at Kathryn, unease in his brown eyes.

Kathryn chuckled, “I’m only joking. She’s probably too much woman for you anyways.” her eyebrow arched comically and Chakotay nodded.

“No doubt.”

They watched the woman for another few seconds before Chakotay steered Kathryn towards the bar and the most comfortable looking barstools. There was a bowl of pretzels on the bartop and Kathryn took one, munching on it as she looked around at the decor of the saloon. Chakotay sat on her right, between her and the door, glancing around to make sure there weren’t any places that someone could hide unknown. 

Across the room, at the opposite end of the entrance was another doorway, but what it led to, they could not tell as the lights in the next room were off. The walls of the main room were covered in rodeo type decor; lassos, leather straps, horseshoes, bridles, saddles...pretty much anything western you could think of. There was a potted cactus near the entryway and a jukebox in the corner that Kathryn assumed Miss Lonelyhearts had fed a whole bunch of quarters into because as soon as the Hank Williams song ended, it began again.

The sound of a toilet flushing and water running pulled their attention to a small door behind the bar. After a few moments, an old man came out, drying his hands on a not too clean towel. Chakotay heard Kathryn let out a groan, but he just chuckled.

“Evenin’ folks,” the bartender spoke in a deep southern drawl, “What can I get for ya?”

He looked to be anywhere between sixty and ninety-seven years old and moved as though he might keel over at any moment.

“I’ll have a margarita please; no salt.” Kathryn hadn’t had a good margarita in years, and though her hopes weren’t too high for this one, she was still thrilled at the idea of taking it easy for the evening. The old man nodded and turned to Chakotay.

“Root beer if you have it, please.” The man nodded again, turning back to begin making the drinks and Kathryn grinned. She supposed she couldn’t expect Chakotay to get drunk or even buzzed while he was on duty, but she wished that he could. He seemed like he had a fun-loving personality buttoned up behind the dress shirts and bulletproof vests.

“Come on, you’re not even going to have _one_ drink?” Kathryn pushed her bottom lip out in the best pout she could, and though it did bring out Chakotay’s dimples, she knew he wouldn’t relent. He shook his head. “Commander, I just want you to relax and have fun this evening.”

“I know,” he eyed her for a moment as if trying to decide something, “No alcohol, but I’ll do you one better,” he got up and Kathryn watched him, her mouth agape, as he walked over to the woman on the dance floor. “May I have the pleasure of this dance, ma’am?”

It took the woman a moment to get her bearings after realizing that someone was actually talking to her. Her glassy eyes slowly moved up his frame before landing on his face, her countenance morphing into one of utter bliss, as if Prince Charming himself had just shown up before her. With a dreamy smile, she slung her arm heavily over Chakotay’s shoulder, swinging him around awkwardly.

Kathryn watched for a moment, but had to turn away before she laughed out loud at Chakotay’s misfortune. Just as she swiveled her stool around, the bartender set a glass in front of her and a brown glass bottle where Chakotay had been sitting. Taking a large swallow of her own beverage, Kathryn was surprised at how good it actually was. “Oh, thank you. That hits the spot.” The bartender nodded but didn’t walk away. He eyed Kathryn for a moment before looking over at Chakotay and back, his eyebrows going up.

“So, what are you folks doing out here in the middle of nowhere at almost midnight? I know it ain’t for the nightlife and it sure as shit ain’t for the mechanical bull. Where you all from?”

Kathryn nearly choked on her margarita. “You have a mechanical bull?” A sudden thrill went through her. It had been _years_ since she’d done anything as random and reckless as ride a mechanical bull...probably not since college.

“Yeah, just through the door,” the bartender pointed to the doorway Kathryn had just been wondering about. “We call him Harriet, don’t ask me why. Twenty-five cents will buy you one wild ride.” The old man clicked his tongue behind his teeth, probably just figuring that Kathryn and Chakotay were annoying tourists, on their way through town to bigger and better things. He didn’t ask any more questions, and Kathryn figured he probably didn’t really care to know any more about them.

“Do you have anything to eat around here?”

“Most everything is put away, I could whip up a couple of barbeque chicken salads. It’s a pretty hot dressing though,I gotta warn ya.”

Kathryn nodded, “We’ll take two, but one with no chicken.” She nodded to Chakotay’s barstool. “Vegetarian.”

The old man wrinkled his nose, shrugged, and moved out of the bar area to a small kitchen behind the half wall. He was only gone for a few minutes before returning with two plates of food. Kathryn’s mouth watered as the scent of the barbeque sauce hit her nostrils.

She forked a piece of chicken and ate it, her mouth instantly on fire with the spicy meat. It was delicious. “This is great. Thanks.” The old man nodded, going back into the kitchen, presumably to clean up.

Kathryn hadn’t realized how hungry she was and quickly made a healthy portion of her salad disappear. “Hot damn, little lady, slow down,” the bartender put another margarita in front of her, “I don’t want to have to call the fire department.”

Kathryn was about to answer when a crash of broken glass behind her caught her attention. Turning in surprise, she was met with an equally surprised Chakotay. The woman he’d been dancing with hung unconscious in his arms, and Chakotay wore an expression of utter horror. She’d dropped the whiskey bottle and it lay in shattered pieces on the floor. Kathryn’s mouth fell open, but the bartender just shook his head.

“‘Bout damn time.” He came around the bar and over to Chakotay, taking the woman in his arms and lifting her over his shoulder. Carrying her to one of the empty tables, he lay her down on it gently. “I can finally turn this damn music off.” He moved to the jukebox and unplugged it; the Hank Williams song that had played at least a dozen times finally ended. He glanced at the unconscious woman before shuffling back behind the bar. “Sorry about that. Louann gets to drinkin’ and listenin’ to her music and it finally catches up to her. I’m surprised she hung on that long tonight.” he slapped Chakotay on the back, “Must have been your dancin’ son.” He grinned and Chakotay looked embarrassed, “Your little woman ordered food for ya.”

Chakotay sat down next to Kathryn and glanced at her, his dimples pressing lightly into his cheeks, the look in his eyes saying ‘don’t say a word about any of it’ and Kathryn just smiled. He looked at the salad before him, and Kathryn’s already half gone. Though his didn’t have any meat, the dressing on it was the same sauce that coated Kathryn’s chicken. “This smells great. Is it spicy?”

“It’ll put hair on your chest, dancin’ man.” The bartender joked as he moved off to clean tables. Chakotay took a sip of his rootbeer and dug into his own food, glancing at Kathryn again, “Thanks for this, Kathryn. I’m having fun.” His brown eyes twinkled and Kathryn felt her cheeks pink.

“It’s good to see you enjoying yourself,” she held up her margarita glass and clinked it against his bottle, “I know it’s a night Louann will never forget.” Chakotay blushed lightly and Kathryn nudged his arm with her shoulder in jest. “And when you’re done eating, I have some more excitement for us.”

“Wow, I really don’t like the sound of that.” Kathryn just flashed him a smile, taking a deep drink from her margarita, finishing the first before starting on the second.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, until Kathryn couldn’t eat any more of the spicy food. She finished her second margarita and could definitely feel the effects of it, knowing that it might very well make the rest of the evening quite interesting. “Do you have a quarter, Commander?” She grabbed Chakotay’s arm and pulled him towards the doorway to the dark room. The bartender saw her destination and headed over as well, flipping on the light as they all entered.

There was Harriet in all his glory. He stood in the middle of the room, and Kathryn noticed there were no mats or pads around him. Extra incentive, she supposed, to keep from falling. There was a quarter machine near the door and all the wiring must have been beneath the floorboards because there was nothing between herself and the bull than hardwood planks. She turned to look at Chakotay, the alcohol, laced with adrenaline, making her antsy to try it.

Chakotay’s mouth fell open, “No way, no way, no _way_!” He shook his head, “There’s no way you’re getting me on that thing.” Kathryn ignored his babbling, holding out her hand, “Don’t worry. I won’t make you ride it. I can’t afford for my personal security detail to get injured.” She grinned at him through the haze of her buzz, “But I have every intention of trying it.”

Chakotay just shook his head but reached into his pocket, pulling out several coins. Two of them were quarters. She plucked one from his hand and fed it into the coin slot on the control panel. There was a dial on the front with three settings; easy, medium and hard. Kathryn set it to medium before turning back to Chakotay, “When I say so, Commander, you push that start button.”

Kathryn was absolutely giddy, and though the alcohol she’d consumed caused her ascent onto the bull to be less than graceful, she didn’t care. She squeezed her thighs as tight as she could around the machine and took hold of the rope and horn, “Alright, do it.”

Chakotay just shook his head but pushed the start button. He stood against the wall and watched as Harriet gave a groan and started moving. It started by just rocking back and forth, and for a few seconds, Kathryn was let down, thinking that the medium ride was in fact pretty easy. She wrinkled her nose as Chakotay, but he just shrugged. Turning back to the mechanical bull, Kathryn gave it a kick.

Either Harriet was a mind reader or it was one amazing coincidence because at that moment the bull bucked into action. Harriet began spinning back and forth in jerky motions, and it began bucking up and down with more speed and vigor. Kathryn let out a yelp and heard Chakotay chuckle.

She held on tight with her right hand; her left arm flailed behind her as the bull spun and bucked. Finally, he bucked forward hard and spun to the left abruptly. Kathryn started to fall but squeezed her thighs tighter in a desperate attempt to stay upright. Just as she threw her weight to the right to counter the sudden dip, the bull bucked to the right and ducked. Kathryn was lost as she tumbled forward over the head of the bull, doing a somersault in the air and landing hard on her tailbone. Chakotay was at her side in an instant, “Kathryn, are you okay?”

She chuckled despite the fact that her back and tailbone smarted, “Yeah. That was fun.” Chakotay helped her to her feet and she tapped the bull on the rump, “Smooth ride.” She pulled her hat back on straight, “Alright, Commander. You _have_ to take a turn. You gave Louann the ride of her life. Let Harriet give you yours.” Kathryn pushed out her bottom lip in the best fake pout she could muster.

Chakotay didn’t look like he was going to budge so she cocked her head and eyed him, thinking as quickly as she could in her slightly tipsy state. “I bet you a shot of tequila that I can last longer on the hard setting than you can on easy.” She raised her eyebrows in challenge.

“I’ll take that bet,” They both jumped, forgetting the bartender was still there. He’d spoken from the entryway, holding up two quarters that he’d just fished out of his pocket. Chakotay sighed, knowing he’d never be able to escape his fate now.

Climbing up on the bull, he watched as Kathryn dropped a quarter into the machine. “Make sure you put that thing on easy. I want a fair shot before I fall on my ass.” Kathryn snickered but switched the coin machine to the easiest setting. Chakotay nodded and Kathryn pushed the start button.

Harriet began bucking and swinging, though with more fluidity than when Kathryn had just ridden it. “If I’m gonna ride him on the hard setting, then you can’t use your hands. He’s barely moving.” Kathryn yelled over the sounds of the rusty metal joints grinding together. He shook his head but let go, using only his legs to hold himself upright. He had much less balance, and his bulkier frame caused him trouble. It wasn’t long before he started to fall to one side. He was a good sport about it though and didn’t use his hands to grab on. One more sweeping sway to the left and he slid off, easily breaking his fall with his hands. Kathryn glanced at the small timer on the coin machine. Nine seconds. She had a feeling that even two margaritas in, she would be able to last that long...she hoped.

Kathryn turned to the bartender, but he was already feeding the last quarter into the machine, turning the dial to the hard setting, “I hope you’re up for this little lady.”

Kathryn hoped she was too.

Climbing back up on the bull, she gave Chakotay a confident smile before taking hold of the rope and horn, feeling her palms sweat as she tried to get a better grip. She took a deep breath before nodding at the old man. He smiled, pushing the start button.

Kathryn’s world was instantly flying.

Harriet spun and bucked three times faster than he had on the medium setting. The bull spun in full circles and bucked in extremely jerky and unpredictable ways. Kathryn’s head was spinning just as fast as Harriet was, and her lack of sober coordination after the two drinks made it hard to stay upright. Harriet gave a good lurch forwards, ducking her head down before ‘kicking’, bucking backward and throwing Kathryn clear.

She came down hard and gracelessly on her back, feeling the wind knock forcefully out of her lungs just as the back of her head cracked on the floorboards. She saw stars behind closed eyes and heard a pounding in her ears.

The pounding was Chakotay running towards her, lifting her head gently as he came to her rescue. “Kathryn, talk to me.”

She felt woozy for a moment but got her bearings quickly when she opened her eyes, a drunken goofy smile tugging her lips up. “How long did I last?”

“Eight seconds.” Chakotay smiled down at her, helping her to slowly sit up, pride at her silly accomplishment evident on his face.

“Well, I guess the drinks are on me,” Kathryn spoke as Chakotay helped her to her feet. She rubbed her back gently where it smarted, just above the curve of her ass.

“Hell no. The drinks are on me,” the old man spoke from where he still stood in the doorway. “This is the most excitement this place has seen in years. After all this, the least I can do is buy you a couple of drinks. Come on you two.” He turned to leave the room, turning the lights off before Kathryn and Chakotay reached the door.

They walked back to the bar and sat down where they had been several minutes before. Chakotay leaned close to Kathryn to whisper in her ear, “Are you alright? Seriously? That was a really hard fall.”

Kathryn grinned, “Yeah, I’m okay. I’ll probably have a big bruise on my ass tomorrow, but I’m fine. This has been fun.”

The bartender poured three shot glasses full of tequila, one for each of them. Just when Kathryn reached for hers there was a loud snort behind her. They all turned to see Louann turn over onto her side on the table, still fast asleep. All three of them chuckled, clinking their glasses together in salute before swallowing the clear liquid.

The bartender moved off to a shelf behind him, pulling down a small wooden box. Kathryn watched as he opened it and pulled something small and metal out. He opened the fastener at the back and slid the pin through the fabric of Kathryn’s tank top in the strap, below her shoulder.

“It’s a purple heart,” he rasped out, “You earned it little lady. That was a hell of a ride Harriet gave you, and you did read good.” He looked between the two of them, “Drinks are on the house. Food too. Glad you stopped in to see us. Now I’m not trying to shoo you out, but I gotta get Louann home and close this place up. I had a real nice time with you folks.” He grinned, “You take care of each other.”

Kathryn looked down at the pin and began to pull the fastener back open, knowing she couldn’t keep this man’s service medal. He saw her fumbling with it and covered her hands with his. “You keep that. It don’t do me no good anymore, and you earned it. I never saw anybody sober that could last half that long on him, and you were two drinks deep. I’m right proud to have witnessed it. Now go on, get going.” He walked back around the bar and towards Louann. Kathryn stood up, wobbling on her feet and Chakotay’s arm came around her. He reached into his pocket and pulled out two twenty-dollar bills, laying them on the table before directing them both towards the door. Kathryn just kept looking at the medal pinned to her shirt. She would never forget this day. Chakotay gave her a squeeze before pushing open the swinging door for her. She felt tears burn in her eyes, but forced the emotion back.

“Well, Commander, I’ve had more to drink than you, so you drive us back to the motel.” She ducked under his arm and stood behind him, jumping onto his back. Chakotay chuckled as his arms came under her knees to easily support her weight.

“Deal.”


	4. Chapter 4

Kathryn could hear yelling, but all she saw was Kes, her best friend from home, being shot in the head. She saw the terror in Kes’ eyes as she looked over at Kathryn in her last seconds of life. Kathryn saw the light leave her eyes and watched her slump over, her blood smearing down the wall as her lifeless body crumpled to the floor. Kathryn remembered screaming out in agony and anger as she lunged at the man who’d taken her best friend from her.

Just then another man came running in the room, gun drawn and his face serious. He ran straight towards Kathryn, while other men charged through the room. He grabbed her arm to pull her up from the corner of the room, but she resisted. When he pulled again she reached around, grabbing his arm and digging her nails in as hard as she could, kicking him in the shin at the same time. He growled in frustration, but let go. It was the moment of freedom she needed and she bolted, using her momentum to hurtle herself out of the room.

In the hall, she continued running, barely remembering the twist and turns and stairs that she’d taken earlier in the day. She could hear someone following her down the stairs but she didn’t look back. She could see the main entrance, and outside meant freedom. Her lungs burned and her heart pounded, but she kept moving.

Slamming into the door with full momentum she hurtled outside, losing her balance and falling on the pavement of the sidewalk. It was dark out and the street completely deserted.

Kathryn didn’t know whether to turn left or right and just as she stood up the man was on her again. He tackled her halfway back to the ground from behind and as she fell she swung her elbow as hard as she could back towards her assailant. She felt it make contact with his face and heard him groan again, but didn’t bother to look back. Feeling his grip loosen again, she pushed herself back up and began running.

An engine roared to life in front of her and as she ran, headlights came into view, coming right for her. She was frozen in the street, sure that this vehicle would end her life then and there.

She closed her eyes, but instead of being hit from the front, she was knocked down from the side. She was pummeled again by the same man; a man with dark hair and dark eyes. He’d pushed her out of the path of the SUV, nearly landing on top of Kathryn on the opposite sidewalk. She landed hard on her knees and cried out as she struggled to free herself. Finally climbing to her feet, she began to run again.

Tire squealed in the distance as the truck did a u-turn to follow her, another coming from the direction of the first. Kathryn now ran barefoot, as the flats she’d been wearing had fallen off at some point. She hardly had breath left in her body, but she knew one more hesitation would be the end, so she pushed herself harder. She reached the end of the sidewalk and turned right down the alley. It was gravel and she felt pain shooting up her legs as her bare feet were cut by the stones.

She could also hear gravel crunching behind her and knew the dark man was gaining on her, again. With a growl of frustration, she willed her body forward, but he was so much taller than she, and his stride longer, so he quickly caught her once again.

Taking hold of her left arm, he pulled her backward...hard. She tried to use her momentum again to shake him off, but he was ready for whatever countermove she had planned. His fist connected with her right eye and she went down.

Kathryn woke up screaming.

Chakotay was at her side in an instant. He took her face between his hands, trying to get her attention...to pull her out of her nightmare. Mostly he just spoke her name gently, brushing his thumbs over her cheekbones to try to soothe her and bring her back to the present. The problem was, it wasn’t a nightmare that she could wake from. This was Kathryn’s life now.

It took her only a few seconds to come fully awake, and without warning, Chakotay pulled her into a hug, pressing her upper body flush against his.

Kathryn was sobbing into his chest and he tried his best to comfort her. Mostly he just held her tight and let her cry as all of her memories came back to her.

“I remember,” she spoke, her voice muffled as she spoke into his t-shirt. His fingers worked up and down her back, his chin resting on her head. He felt slightly awkward at having her in what felt like such an intimate embrace, but he also didn’t want her crying to alert any other guests, so he held her until she quieted.

“What did you say?” His voice was low and soothing, and she sniffled, turning her head so her cheek was pressed into his chest.

“I remember they killed Kes. I ran and you chased me. I remember I ran as hard as I could, but I couldn’t run fast enough, and that truck was coming, and…” fresh sobs overtook her and she pressed her forehead into his chest again, her body shaking.

Chakotay’s heart broke for the woman in his arms; he hated this part of the job. The protector in him wanted to take her pain away, take the hurt and the anguish away. But he knew he could not; only time could help her now.

So he held her as she cried, whispering calming words in her ear.

Kathryn cried until she had no energy left to form sounds, but the tears still fell. She could feel his hand running through her hair and he was gently shushing her. She felt embarrassed and a bit childish at her outburst, but his embrace was extremely comforting, and Chakotay was not judging her. He was quickly becoming the only constant in her crazy new life, and she clung to him with every bit of energy she could muster.

“It’s going to be alright, Kathryn. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, I promise.” His words were spoken on a whisper, and his honeyed voice was soothing. Kathryn closed her eyes and pressed her cheek into his chest again. She could hear his heart beating and the sound of it calmed her further. She didn’t move for several more minutes as she let the memories wash over her again and again. Her breathing slowly returned to normal and Chakotay loosened his grip on her. She sniffled one more time, finally letting go to wipe her eyes with the back of her hand. She knew she must look a sight, but Chakotay said nothing, only looked at her with genuine concern.

“I’m sorry I elbowed you in the face, and clawed at your arms...and kicked you in the shin.” She looked down at the impressions her nails had made in the flesh of his arms and felt ashamed. “I didn’t know you were trying to help me.” Chakotay smiled, shaking his head as if to brush off her concern, “I was scared, and didn’t know what else to do.” She paused, her blue eyes meeting his, “I’m so sorry.”

His dimples pulled into his cheeks, “You put up quite a fight. For a tiny little thing, you sure can fend for yourself. I had to work to keep up with you. You’re fast.” He held her gaze and she was lost for a moment in the warm brown of his eyes. “Kathryn, this will work out, I promise.” He cupped her cheek again, and Kathryn couldn’t help but lean into his touch, closing her eyes. He was quickly becoming her rock. 

Kathryn had never wanted to need to depend on anyone, and in just twenty four hours she had become so close to this man that she couldn’t imagine her life without him in it. She opened her eyes and looked at him. He was smiling still, but his eyes showed concern.

“I’m alright, just give me a minute.” Kathryn got up and padded quietly through the dark room into the bathroom. Sitting down on the edge of the tub, she pulled some toilet paper and wiped her eyes before resting her head in her hands. For a few minutes, she just pictured Kes’ face...and then again for a few minutes more. Kes had had such terror in her eyes before death had washed away her emotions.

Kathryn felt fresh tears well up in her eyes. Not scared tears like before, but sad tears; for her friend that she would never see again. Had things been different, that bullet might very well have been put through Kathryn’s forehead, and maybe then Kes would be sitting here mourning Kathryn instead. Maybe Chakotay would have saved her life and brought her to this hotel room. Maybe they both would have been shot.

Thinking about Kes now made Kathryn feel sick to her stomach again, so she took a deep breath and decided that thinking about ‘what ifs’ would do her no good anymore. She wiped her eyes one final time and got up, padding gently back into the main room.

Chakotay had turned the nightstand light on and Kathryn squinted at the sudden brightness. Chakotay was sitting on his bed now and Kathryn sat down across from him. His face held deep concern, and Kathryn tried to give him a smile, but she knew it lacked conviction. “What happened to Kes? After the embassy attack and after you took me. What happened to her...body?” The word stuck in Kathryn’s throat, and she couldn’t meet his eyes, looking instead down at the burgundy carpet. She couldn’t stand to see the despair in Chakotay’s face. They barely knew each other, and he didn’t know anything about Kes save for her name, and she could see the sadness he carried for them both.

“Her body was sent back to the states; back to her family.” He said nothing more, and Kathryn was silent as well, finally sliding her legs back under the covers and laying down, facing away from Chakotay. She couldn’t bear the look of sadness there. She had enough of her own for about ten people.

The bed felt cold and empty and she felt completely alone, but she didn’t turn around. After about ten minutes, Chakotay must have thought she was asleep because she heard him turn the light off as the room was swallowed up again in darkness. She listened as he shifted around on his own mattress, finding a comfortable position.

Kathryn lay with her eyes closed, but she was wide awake. She couldn’t get Kes’ face out of her mind, no matter how hard she tried to think of something else. Now that all of her memories were back, they were back. Kathryn knew that Kes would scold her if she were here, seeing the sadness that Kathryn harbored for her friend, but she couldn’t help it. In a life full of turmoil and chaos, Kes had been her constant. No matter how long they went between seeing each other, their friendship lasted. They had met just after Kathryn graduated from the academy, and they had become fast friends. They’d even rented a house in San Francisco together for a few years before Kes moved back east.

Now Kathryn would never see her smiling face again.

Nothing would be the same after this, Kathryn was certain of that. Would she be on the run for the rest of her life? When would this end? How would this end? Would the Russians finish what they started and put a bullet between her eyes as well?

It was too much to think about and Kathryn felt her nerves beginning to fray again. She rolled over, noting the clock on the nightstand read just after 4am. She had no idea when they were going to leave, or where they were going to go from here.

She looked over at Chakotay and saw that he had fallen asleep again. He was lying on his back on the far side of the bed from her. She watched his even breathing for several minutes before slowly and quietly getting out of bed. As carefully as she could she pulled back his blankets and slid into bed beside him, careful to leave as much distance between them as possible.

She lay on her back and closed her eyes, instantly feeling better just hearing him breathe beside her; she didn’t feel so alone. She lay as still as possible, willing her body to relax back into sleep. Listening to Chakotay breathe, she felt herself begin to relax. Exhaustion finally started to pull her away from consciousness, and she vaguely felt Chakotay’s hand closed over hers before she fell asleep.

Kathryn woke up to the smell of coffee and cinnamon, and the sound of water running. Opening her eyes, she could see sunlight streaming around the edges of the closed curtains. A tray sat on the nightstand next to her, with a large cup of coffee, several cinnamon strudels with icing, a banana, and several small apples. She glanced around the room looking for Chakotay, but then remembered that she had heard water, and realized that he was taking a shower.

Sitting up she rubbed her eyes; they felt swollen and tight from her crying. She was still in Chakotay’s bed and felt slightly embarrassed about it now in the light of day, but decided that she wouldn’t bring it up unless Chakotay said something.

She got up and padded to her messenger bag to dig through it, relieved when she found a t-shirt she’d forgotten she’d bought at a market stand yesterday afternoon. It was a simple pale blue t-shirt with flowers batiked on it in beeswax, but it was better than swimming in Chakotay’s shirt for the rest of the day.

Chakotay came out of the bathroom and Kathryn’s breath caught in her throat. He was wearing dark blue jeans and no shirt. His hair was wet and combed back from his forehead. “Oh, excuse me.” His cheeks pinked as he quickly slung his towel around his neck to partially cover his chest. He must not have realized she was awake, but his modesty was endearing.

“It’s alright.” She grinned bashfully up at him, “Look, I found a shirt to wear today.”

“I’m glad. That solves one problem anyways. I had no idea what we were going to do about clothes for you until we can get something sorted.” He ran his fingers through his wet hair, “There’s coffee and breakfast, which I’m sure you already saw. It’s just after seven, and we should be out of here by eight, okay?”

Kathryn nodded and Chakotay went back into the bathroom. He hadn’t mentioned anything about her sleeping in his bed, and for that she was grateful.

“Did you eat already?” She called out, hoping he had because her stomach rumbled and she realized she hadn’t eaten since lunch the day before, not to mention the fact that she’d vomited the contents of her stomach last night.

“Yeah, take whatever you want.” She heard his electric razor start-up, and reached for one of the strudels. Sitting back down on her own bed, she began to eat. She was desperate for the coffee but figured after the last twelve hours or so, she’d be kind to her stomach and put something in it before the caffeine.

By the time Chakotay came back out of the bathroom, fully dressed this time, Kathryn was just taking the first sip of her coffee. She couldn’t help the soft moan that sounded low in her throat as her eyes slipped shut. She pressed her lips together as they turned up in a light smile.

“I take it you like coffee?” He grinned at her as her eyes opened, her cheeks pinking in slight embarrassment.

“Ah, the finest organic suspension ever devised.” He chuckled at her enthusiasm.

“I see. I’ll remember that.” He set some of his things on his bed, going to retrieve his laptop from the desk and packing it away.

“Where are we going?” She peeled the banana and took a small bite of the fruit.

“Dublin. We have a plane waiting for us. An agent that was with me in Moscow is a pilot, and he’s flying us to Ireland. There we will pick up another plane that will take us back to the states. And after that, I’m not sure.” He went to the door and pulled on his boots. Kathryn sat silently finishing her food as she thought over this new information.

“Agent Paris?” she asked as she tossed the banana peel in the garbage. Chakotay looked up in amusement.

“How on earth did you know that?” He eyed her with curiosity, his brows raised.

“I heard you on the phone last night before I tried to make a break for it,” She smiled and shrugged. He returned the smile, then went back to the bathroom. Kathryn grabbed the two apples and put them in her bag for later, not knowing where or when they might have the chance to eat again. 

When Chakotay was finished getting ready, Kathryn took her shirt and bag into the bathroom to change. She brushed her teeth before packing her new toothbrush away, then snooped a bit through Chakotay’s toiletry bag, finding his deodorant and using it, hoping he wouldn’t mind. She pulled her blue jeans on, wishing for a clean pair; frowning at the scuff marks and torn knee in the pair she was wearing. She rummaged in her bag and found a hair tie, wrangling her hair into a low ponytail. She wished desperately for some makeup to cover the purpling bruise on her cheek and eye, but just hoped they wouldn’t run into too many people.

She tucked Chakotay’s t-shirt into her bag, hoping he’d let her use it again as a pajama shirt. Finally feeling a bit more like herself, she zipped up Chakotay’s bag and brought it with her out of the bathroom, handing it to him with a grateful smile. He gave a sad smile at her appearance, “We’ll try to find somewhere for you to get a few more things to wear. I’m sorry we don’t have the rest of your luggage.” She shook her head and gave a dismissive wave of her hand, not wanting to think about it. “We at least have to get you some shoes.” His eyes landed on her bare feet.

Kathryn zipped up her bag and glanced around the room as if making sure she didn’t forget anything, though she didn’t really have anything with her to forget. “Do you want me to carry your bag?” Chakotay offered, but Kathryn gently refused. It felt good to have her possessions in her grasp.

Chakotay nodded, picking up his own duffel and they headed out the door, and for Kathryn, into the unknown.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So when we last saw Kathryn, she'd finally gotten all of the memories back from her attack. Chakotay helped her comes to terms with it and they had a very sweet moment together. 
> 
> Now they are on their way into the great unknown, the next leg of their trip to get Kathryn back home and safe. Here we go!

They walked down the hallway to the end where a door opened to a staircase. Kathryn had no idea they were staying in such a large hotel, but they were climbing down from the seventh floor. At the bottom, they went through another door and down another long hallway. They passed several people, but they didn’t seem to give the pair a second glance. Well, several of them gave Kathryn a second glance, mostly, she was sure, due to the lovely bruise on her cheekbone. She just kept her head down and followed beside Chakotay as he walked.

He’d taken her hand as they exited their hotel room, and hadn’t let go this whole time, and Kathryn didn’t mind. Maybe it was to put on some type of a front to onlookers, but Kathryn didn’t care; it was nice to know that he was beside her as he walked.

When they reached the end of the corridor Kathryn expected to enter into the hotel lobby, but instead, they went through a door that brought them outside. The scenery was nice; they exited near a large flower garden on the hotel grounds. Dozens of flowering bushes lined the sidewalk, and many trees, heavy with blossoms, were scattered throughout many other flowering plants. On any other day, Kathryn would have taken the time to meander through, smelling the different flowers.

Not today, though.

Chakotay walked them quickly to a parking lot off to the side of the main lot behind the hotel. Though it was early, the sun was already out, and it was the first time in days that Kathryn had seen it shine; they’d had clouds and rain in Russia, and the warmth on her skin felt incredibly rejuvenating. At that moment she smiled, happy to be alive, even though she didn’t know what the future might hold.

They reached a black BMW with tinted windows and Kathryn raised her eyebrows at Chakotay. He just grinned as he unlocked the vehicle, tossing his bag into the trunk. Kathryn moved towards the passenger side then chuckled to herself when she was met with the steering wheel. Forgetting for a moment that she was still in Europe, she chuckled and moved to the other side of the car, getting in and sitting down, tossing her bag down by her feet.

Chakotay slid into the driver’s seat and started the car, expertly backing it up and driving out of the lot.

Neither spoke for a time; Chakotay was watching the roads, no doubt looking for his next turn, and Kathryn just enjoyed taking in the scenery. She’d never been to Germany before, and probably never would be again. She couldn’t read the names on the buildings and storefronts, but it was enjoyable just the same. Chakotay seemed to be able to read them, or at least knew where he was going because he seemed neither confused or lost.

The longer they drove the more remote the scenery became. They hadn’t exactly been in a city when they left the hotel, and soon they were driving on a dirt road through rolling fields of green grass. The road curved often, so their speed was slow; their journey steadily winding them uphill. Around one particular curve, they came upon a large pond covered in lily pads and a pair of swans slid gracefully through the water.

“So, where are you from, Chakotay?” She wasn’t sure how long they’d been driving, but it was the first time either of them had spoken, and Chakotay seemed taken a bit by surprise, but glanced over and smiled.

“I was born in Hawaii. My father is from Mexico and my mother is Hawaiian. I have a younger sister, and she still lives on the big island.” Kathryn pictured a woman with long dark hair and Chakotay’s warm eyes.

“What about your mom and dad?”

“They both passed away a number of years ago.”

“Oh, Chakotay, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up.” Kathryn felt awful as sadness quickly flashed across his eyes.

“It’s alright. My mother died when I was young; she was ill. My father died about seven years ago.” Kathryn nodded, still sorry she’d brought it up.

“What’s your sister’s name?”

Chakotay smiled, “Sekaya. She and her husband live just outside Kailua-Kona. I try to get there when I can, but I’m stationed outside D.C., so I don’t make it home much.”

“Does your sister know what happened in Russia? Does she know you’re okay?”

“She knows I’m safe. Obviously she can’t know everything about where I am or who I’m with because that could be used to find out where you are. I prefer she not know more than the fact that I’m alive. I don’t want anything to happen to you or this mission.”

“But she knows what you do for a living?” Her heart ached for his sister and her husband, somewhere on the other side of the world, wondering every day if she would ever see Chakotay again. Her chest tightened and a tear escaped from her eye, but she quickly brushed it away. Of course, Chakotay picked that moment to look over.

“It’s okay, Kathryn,” he gave her a genuine smile, “Yes, she knows what I do. She knows my job is dangerous, but she also knows that I do a lot of good for people. My father was in the military, so he understood as well. Sekaya knows I do everything in my power to stay safe.”

Kathryn nodded, “Well I really am sorry. I’m sorry that she has to worry about you,” she didn’t know what to say to comfort him, or if he even needed comfort. Truthfully it was she that needed comfort, and she received it in Chakotay’s smile.

“It’s fine Kathryn, really. This is the life I’ve chosen, and right now it’s my job to keep you safe. I want to help people...to help you. It … brings me peace.” He reached over and gave her hand a squeeze before taking the wheel again, “You don’t need to feel bad for me at all, okay?” Kathryn nodded, meeting his eyes for a moment before he looked back at the road.

She knew his sentiment was one hundred percent genuine, and that made her feel better. He was not sad, or scared. He was determined. Determined to fight for justice; her own personal Superman. She stifled a chuckle at the thought as she looked out the window once again. The fields kept rolling by as they made their way farther uphill. Several fields were surrounded by fences and flocks of sheep grazed on the green grass. Some were cow pastures. Kathryn enjoyed it very much, watching the scenery go by.

They didn’t talk much after that; they drove on for a few hours, finally approaching a small village, but Kathryn still couldn’t read the signs. The road was still dirt, and Kathryn saw three buildings on the left side of the road. The first looked like some kind of inn, maybe a bed and breakfast, or some type of boarding house. The second seemed to be a market or grocery store. There were bags of feed and grain outside the main doors, and an old man in overalls and a wool coat walked inside. The third building, Kathryn could tell by the picture of a mortar and pestle, was a drug store. Chakotay parked in front of that building, turning the car off.

“It’s pretty basic, but we should be able to get a few things for you.” He handed her several bills in a currency she didn’t recognize, and she stared at it for a moment before putting it in her pocket. “Don’t worry, there’s plenty there, and the clerk inside will help you. Be back in five minutes. I have to make a phone call to let Paris know we’re getting close,” His eyes bore into hers, “Five minutes, okay?”

Kathryn nodded and got out of the car. The building had large wooden doors with wooden door handles, and she pulled one open to go inside. The store smelled like mint and menthol, and faint music played from a radio in the corner. She was the only person in the store, and the woman behind the counter spoke a greeting to her that she did not understand. Kathryn smiled and nodded then set off through the store.

She glanced around quickly, trying to figure out what she really needed. She saw a restroom in the corner of the pharmacy and quickly used it before coming back out to shop. She was still barefoot but saw no shoes for purchase. She walked to the far corner of the store and took in the shelves there. Many of the medications and household items were old fashioned, but for such a remote store, many of the items were quite modern. She grabbed a small box of tampons, a stick of women’s deodorant, a pack of razors and a tube of toothpaste.

They didn’t have any clothing for sale, so she was stuck with what she already had. She didn’t really see anything else that she couldn’t live without, so she walked quickly to the check out clerk. The woman smiled at her again and began totaling up her items. Near the register was a large glass jar full of taffies, so Kathryn pulled out two of them to add to her bill. The woman gave her her total, but Kathryn didn’t understand. She pulled the bills out of her pocket and laid them down on the counter, smiling with a shrug. “Sorry.”

The clerk seemed to understand, taking only the bills she needed and pushing the others back towards Kathryn, then handed her the change, along with a paper bag full of her wares. With a smile and a nod, Kathryn took the bag and went back outside to the car. Chakotay was coming out of the market, a brown bag in his own hand. He was sliding his phone back into his pocket and hit the key fob to unlock the car.

Kathryn got in as Chakotay did. “Find everything you need?” Kathryn shrugged.

“Yes and no. They didn’t have any shoes or clothes, but I got toothpaste and deodorant so I don’t have to keep using yours.” She grinned, then pulled the taffies out of the bag. “And these. Want one?”

Chakotay grinned, taking one of them, “Thank you. One thing you’ll learn about me; I have a sweet tooth.” Kathryn smiled, nodding. “Oh, I got these for you. They aren’t great, but they are better than nothing.” He handed over the bag.

Inside were a pair of black canvas slip-on shoes. Kathryn pulled them on; they were maybe a half size too big, but would do just fine. “Thank you, Chakotay. I appreciate it.”

He flashed his dimples at her, “No problem. Ready to go?” Kathryn nodded and Chakotay backed out of his space and they continued on their drive.

Kathryn pulled the apples out of her bag, handing one to Chakotay. He had picked up a box of crackers, apologizing that they didn’t have more for food, but they needed to get where they were going. “It’s alright, I understand.” More than anything, Kathryn wished she had more coffee, but oh well.

A glance at the clock on the dash told her it was just after two in the afternoon. They had long since finished their crackers and fruit, and Kathryn was getting stir crazy.

The scenery remained similar as they drove on. They passed several small villages on their drive as well, but each one was smaller than the previous until the houses or buildings were spread fifteen to twenty miles apart.

Finally, the road took them more steadily uphill, and the countryside disappeared behind them. Trees grew thicker and more abundant and soon they were completely surrounded by forest, still driving uphill. They rounded another corner and just like that, the trees cleared. The road flattened out and golden grass grew on both sides of the dirt road, then farther out, more trees. At the end of the road, which now appeared to be a driveway, was a small cottage with white paneling and a thatched roof. It was _very_ small; probably just one room, but the windows were all open and when Chakotay stopped the car in front, Kathryn was eager to get out...stretch her legs and explore a bit. The air was still warm and the sun was shining. The air carried such a fresh scent; pine and grass and water, it was invigorating. “What are we doing here, Commander?” She grinned at him as he got out of the car, also glad to stretch his legs. He was smiling too.

“We’re stopping here for the day. Grab your things. We fly tonight.” He grabbed his duffel out of the trunk and Kathryn slung her messenger bag over her shoulder and followed Chakotay into the small cottage.

It _was_ one big room; there was a couch and bookshelf off to the left, and a small kitchen area to the right and two small cots on the far wall on either side of the back door. Kathryn dropped her messenger bag on the floor near the sofa, “Uh, please tell me there’s a lady’s room around somewhere.” Chakotay grinned as he tossed his bag down on one of the cots.

“Yes, just outside the back door, there’s an outhouse,” Kathryn wrinkled her nose, “Don’t worry, it has running water.”

Kathryn sighed and went outside to use the facilities. Once finished, she poked her head back inside, “Is it okay if I take a walk?” She’d seen the path that led to the outhouse continued on towards the trees.

“Sure, just don’t go farther than the river. I’ve gotta make a few calls, then I’ll get dinner started, okay?”

“Whatever you say, Commander.” She grinned before going back outside. The path moved off through the golden grass before sloping downhill towards the river.

The water was quite wide, and the trees surrounded it on both sides as she made her way to the bottom of the hill. Kathryn sat down on the sand and watched the water flow through the large gap in the trees. She could hear birds chirping as they flitted from tree to tree.

Kathryn sat for a while, closing her eyes and enjoying this peaceful moment. She could imagine sitting here, every day, for the rest of her life, living in that small cottage, walking down to this river to relax, and having to go outside to the outhouse in the middle of the night.

She grinned at the thought.

Just then there was a crack in the woods, probably a branch snapping, and the forest fell silent. Kathryn’s eyes shot open, her senses kicking into overdrive. The sound of the water flowing was nearly deafening as all other sounds of nature had gone quiet. She cast out her senses but heard nothing else out of the ordinary. Her imagination went wild, and she pictured the red laser pointer of a sniper rifle burning between her shoulder blades, and she jumped up. Taking off at a sprint, she ran as hard and as fast as she could up the hill and back towards the cottage. Her shoes slid through the rocks and sand, but her fear and momentum kept her moving uphill.

She had become too lax, too careless. She let herself forget that she was on the run from men who wanted her dead, and that mistake could easily get her and or Chakotay killed. It made everything that he’d done so far completely worthless. There might be fifty Russian men in these trees right now. She had no idea, but her adrenaline propelled her back down the path even faster now that the cottage was in sight.

Just as she reached the back door, it opened as Chakotay moved to come outside. She barely registered his confusion before her body slammed into his, knocking them both back into the building. Chakotay landed flat on his back with Kathryn sprawled out across his chest. She was panting and a cold sweat broke out over her entire body. Chakotay awkwardly sat up, moving Kathryn over so they were facing each other.

“Kathryn, what happened?” He put his hands on her shoulders, which she realized were shaking violently. All she could do for a moment was stare at his face, realizing that they were both still alive and in fact, no one was chasing her. His eyes pleaded with her for answers, but she couldn’t speak as she worked to regain her breathing.

Kathryn held up her finger as she got up and went to the small sink. Turning on the water she splashed it over her face and neck before cupping her hands and taking a few long drinks. Finally, with a sigh, she turned around. Chakotay had gotten up but still stood a few paces behind her. Kathryn could still feel her hands shaking as she wiped them off on her blue jeans.

“Kathryn, please talk to me,” his voice was deeper, rougher. He was gently demanding an answer, his concern evident in his voice and on his face.

“I got nervous. I was sitting down by the river, relaxing and listening to the birds, and there was this cracking noise in the woods. It was probably just a tree branch breaking, but I just imagined a sniper hidden in the trees somewhere taking aim at me, and I just panicked. Those trees could be loaded with men trying to kill me.” She laughed out a rueful sigh, “I just got careless and I’m mad that I got careless, but I panicked and I ran.” She bit her lip. “Sorry about the body slam, by the way.”

Chakotay took her hand and pulled her over to the table, grabbing another chair so they sat facing each other, almost knee to knee. “Listen, Kathryn. The chances of that are very slim. There are only three people on the planet that knew we planned to come to this cottage today, and two of them are in this room.” She let out a sigh through her nose, smiling lightly at his humor, “There are more people on our side than there are on theirs, and we have more skill and more knowledge, not to mention the fact that we got the jump on getting you out of the country before the few Russian men that got away could even get back to where they came from to develop a plan. We’re many steps ahead of them. They don’t even know _who_ you are yet, so try not to panic. And don’t forget the most important fact,” He eyed her as if waiting for her to figure it out. Kathryn furrowed her brow, not sure where he was going with this. He chuckled, his dimples framing his lips, “You’ve got _me_ protecting you. What else could you possibly need?” he flashed her a dazzling grin and she couldn’t help but laugh, swatting his arm. He pressed his palm against her uninjured cheek, “But in all seriousness Kathryn,” his thumb went across her cheekbone, “You’re safe, and I’m going to keep you that way. I know we have to keep our guard up, but we’re okay. _You’re_ okay. You’ve got lots of people looking out for you, so try to relax.”

Kathryn nodded, closing her eyes and leaning into his touch for just a moment before he pulled his hand away. “I’m going to make something for us to eat. Why don’t you relax and unwind? There’s quite a selection of books over there if you like to read,” he nodded to the bookshelf.

Kathryn nodded, “I’d offer to help you with dinner, but I’m a terrible cook.” Chakotay grinned.

“It’s no problem. I enjoy cooking. Go ahead and get comfortable.”

Kathryn got up and went to look at the titles on the bookshelf. Some were in foreign languages, but many were in English. She was curious who stocked it, or how often this place was used. There was food in the cottage so someone had stocked it recently. She had so many questions but didn’t know if she really cared to know the answers to all of them, so she remained quiet. Finally settling on a copy of Dante’s Inferno, she curled up on the sofa and began reading.

She went between reading the pages and watching Chakotay over the top of the book. He moved nimbly around the small kitchen and Kathryn quickly determined he was making pasta. There was canned spaghetti sauce but he seemed to be chopping and adding his own ingredients. He had a pot of water on to boil and diced up a clove of garlic before adding it to the simmering pot of sauce.

Kathryn leaned her head back against the arm of the sofa and before she knew it she was asleep.

When she opened her eyes the light in the room surprised her. There were candles lit on the table, as well as around the room, and the light from the setting sun cast a fiery orange glow throughout the dwelling. No other lights were on, and the smell of garlic bread and pasta sauce filled the small cottage. Chakotay came over and with a gentle smile he reached out his hand to help her up.

Kathryn marveled at his strength as he pulled her gently to her feet. His skin appeared a darker tan in this light, and the bruise she’d given him was almost gone. He looked especially Hawaiian in this light, and she realized in that moment what a truly handsome man he was; beautiful in a way she’d never thought a man could be. She reached up and touched the yellowing mark of his bruise, then let her fingers travel over the lines of his tattoo. He stood still, his dark eyes watching her.

“Why that tattoo, and why on your forehead?” Her voice was rough from sleep, but her blue eyes shone as they followed the contours of his face and the design of the ink there.

“It’s similar in design to a tattoo my father had. It’s a symbol of the tribe he descended from but done in the traditional Hawaiian style. My sister has one similar as well. But in Hawaii, the traditional tattoo artists design a piece based on each individual’s character and personality. So while the overall design of my family’s tattoo is the same, many small aspects of them are different.” Kathryn smiled, picturing his family; tall and dark and strong, with matching brown eyes and spiritual tattoos.

“That’s wonderful,” her eyes still followed the lines of his tattoo, until she realized she was probably making him uncomfortable. “Well,” her finger drifted to the bruise again, “I am sorry about that...” she brushed her fingers over the bruise again before letting them travel over the tattoo one last time, grazing his face as she dropped her hand. He flinched slightly away from her touch. She couldn’t imagine that the spot still hurt, “...and very hungry. The food smells amazing.”

Chakotay pulled out Kathryn’s chair before moving to the small refrigerator, “What would you like to drink? There’s water, wine, and beer.”

“I’d love a glass of wine if that’s alright.” He nodded, taking down two wine glasses. He poured one for her, and a half glass for himself, as well as water for both of them. “This looks absolutely wonderful.”

“Well enjoy it,” he sat down across from her and served for them both, “We’ll be on the move a lot and I don’t know the next time we’ll have a home-cooked meal.”

They ate mostly in silence and Kathryn watched as the room grew darker until the only light in the room was from the dozen or so candles throughout. The shadows they cast were comforting and eerie at the same time. She felt slightly claustrophobic now in this small room, but Chakotay made her feel safe. She ate until she was stuffed, not knowing when they’d eat again, and Chakotay seemed to be of the same mind. Kathryn leaned back in her chair resting her hands on her stomach, grinning. “That was delicious.”

“Thank you. I’m glad you liked it. I don’t get to cook a lot, but I enjoy it.”

Kathryn got up and took the dishes to the sink, washing them quickly and putting them in a small drying rack on the counter. Chakotay looked at his watch and then at Kathryn. “Time to go.”

Kathryn went to where she’d left her messenger bag and put it on, standing still because she didn’t know where they were going. Chakotay came over and took her hand and gave it a squeeze. Together they walked out the back door and into the night.


	6. Chapter 6

After a stop at the outhouse, they walked by the light of the moon down the path she’d followed earlier, into the woods and towards the river. Kathryn felt immediately on edge; though she knew they were safe and Chakotay was beside her, she couldn’t help the chill that settled low in her spine. They reached the bottom of the hill and began to follow the river upstream a ways. Chakotay still hadn’t let go of her hand, and the warmth of it in the cool evening air was more of a comfort than Kathryn wanted to admit.

They walked in silence for about ten minutes, and just when Kathryn was going to crack a joke about walking all the way to Ireland, she saw a shape start to form in the darkness. The closer they walked, the more the form became a solid shape, until she realized it was a black pontoon plane tied up at a dock that stretched halfway across the moving water. Her brow furrowed in concern as they approached.

The trees hung low and thick over the water, and Kathryn wasn’t at all sure how a plane could take off in this dense foliage. But she also knew she was not an expert in witness protection and had complete confidence in Chakotay, so she kept her concerns to herself.

As they walked nearer to the plane the cockpit came into view, and she could see someone sitting inside. The man got out as they approached. He was blonde, blue-eyed and quick with a smile. “Chakotay, it’s good to see you.” The man walked up the dock and gave Chakotay a hug.

Kathryn assumed this was Agent Paris, and he seemed about the same age as the two of them; late thirties and American born by the sound of his accent...maybe southern. 

He turned then to face Kathryn, his wide smile crinkling the corners of his eyes, “And you must be Kathryn. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Tom Paris.” He held out his hand, and Kathryn shook it warmly.

“It’s wonderful to meet you as well. I’m very grateful for everything you’re doing...what you’ve already done.” It seemed like such an arbitrary thing to say, and not nearly enough, but it was all she _could_ say. “I really mean it. I’ll never forget what you all have done.” She looked from Agent Paris to Chakotay, who also smiled warmly at her.

“You’re very welcome, ma’am,” she smiled at the southern drawl when he said ma’am, the twinkle in his eye deepening, “I know I speak for Chakotay when I say that we are glad to do it.” He glanced over his shoulder to the plane, then back to Kathryn and Chakotay, “Well, time to get going. We have about nine hours of darkness on our side, and we’ll need every minute of it.” He took Chakotay’s duffel and Kathryn’s messenger bag and loaded them in, then moved aside so his passengers could climb in the backseat.

Kathryn got in first, trying to press over as far as she could to make room for Chakotay’s larger frame. She fit comfortably, but it was a tighter fit for Chakotay. No matter how she sat, she was still touching him in some way; shoulders, thighs, hips. She didn’t want to analyze her feelings, but she enjoyed his warmth beside her. Tom untied the pontoon from the dock and jumped in the plane, closing the door and moving into the front seat.

The small plane began to drift with the current of the river, and Kathryn watched, eager to see how Tom would take off and maneuver through the trees. Instead, he leaned back in his seat and just watched out the cockpit window. 

Kathryn remained silent, her eyes moving between Tom and Chakotay, waiting for someone to say something. She looked out the window and saw the path from which they’d come down the hill, knowing the small cottage was at the top, never to be seen again. Finally, not able to keep quiet, she broke the silence.

“Alright, what’s going on here, gentlemen? I enjoy a float down the river as much as the next girl, but we usually have sunscreen and a cooler of beer.” They both chuckled and Kathryn knew in the darkness that Chakotay had rolled his eyes. Tom turned around the face the pair.

“We’re drifting down river a ways. The trees are too thick to take off here, and moving down river puts us in a very different location for take-off than the cottage. That way if you were being followed, they’ll be thrown off the trail a bit.” He grinned at her. “Sit back and relax, we’ll be floating for a couple hours.” He turned back around and looked out the front window again.

Kathryn spent some time looking out the window beside her. Her eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, and soon she could see pretty well, from the water to the opposite shore. Several raccoons walked along the side of the river, digging in the rocks and sand, glancing up warily as they floated by before going back to their task. A lone deer stood cautiously at the river’s edge, getting a drink before darting off into the underbrush and out of sight. 

After about a half hour, Kathryn’s eyelids began to grow heavy. Just as she felt herself drifting off, Chakotay’s soft whisper pulled her back to the present, “Kathryn, look over here.” 

She leaned around him as best she could to look out the window on his side of the plane. Just off shore near the woods were huge bushes of tiny white flowers. They appeared nearly silver in the moonlight, and they were covered with hundreds of lightening bugs. The flowers softly flickered with the glow of the small bugs, taking on an almost ethereal appearance. “It’s so beautiful.” Kathryn’s eyes went wide as she whispered, leaning closer to Chakotay to better see them.

Just as one bush ended another came into view with its own personal night lights. Their reflections twinkled in the water, and mixed with the reflection of the stars peeking through between the trees set millions of little twinkling lights flickering over the water.

Her neck was strained from the odd angle in which she held it, and without realizing it her cheek came down to rest on Chakotay’s arm. He didn’t seem to notice, or if he did he didn’t mind or say anything. They both watched out the window as millions of lightning bugs illuminated the night. Kathryn’s eyelids grew heavy again, and though she didn’t want to fall asleep, the warmth of Chakotay beside her caused her to drift off.

Kathryn awoke to a heavy weight on her shoulders. She opened her eyes and realized that Chakotay’s arm was draped around her shoulders and her head was resting on his chest. She felt embarrassed for using him as a pillow, but couldn’t ignore the happy butterflies that flitted in her stomach at the thought. She didn’t know how long she’d been asleep, but Chakotay had moved to cradle her to him, and that gave her pause. She tried to keep still so he wouldn’t know she was awake, but his slow, even breathing made her realize that he had fallen asleep too. She glanced up front to see Tom flipping switches and had the cockpit lights on. Just as he turned around, Kathryn closed her eyes to feign sleep once again.

“Hey you two,” Tom spoke just over a whisper, “I’m gonna be starting the engines soon. Didn’t want to take you by surprise.”

Kathryn felt Chakotay move beside her, so she pretended to wake up too. He looked down at her with a sleepy smile, and moved his arm from around her to stretch. Once he dropped his hands to his lap Kathryn grabbed his wrist, turning it so she could see his watch. It was just after two in the morning.

Kathryn yawned and stretched as best she could in the small space and Chakotay leaned forward to speak to Tom.

“Is the drop off location secure?” Tom tilted his head to speak but continued to face forward.

“Yep, cleared yesterday, and you have a car standing by. Lodgings are the same as previously discussed, and Ayala will be in touch the day after tomorrow. I was able to line up a few things for you too, Kathryn.” She turned at the sound of her name, not really paying attention to the FBI jibber jabber.

“Pardon?”

“We got you a few things; a duffel bag and some clothes. I don’t know exactly how well everything will fit, but it’ll hold you over until you can get something else.” Kathryn smiled, not realizing that they would go to such lengths to make her exile more comfortable.

“You didn’t have to do that. I just…” She didn’t know what to say, but Tom turned around with a smile.

“It’s no problem.” he turned back around and finally started the engine.

Kathryn looked out the window again, and then up to the sky. The river had widened substantially and the trees grew farther away from the bank, giving their small floatplane plenty of room to take off.

Once the prop had reached full speed the plane began to move much faster, and before long they were airborne. Tom didn’t fly the plane very high, but the ground passed beneath them quickly. Kathryn was still tired and leaned her head against the side of the plane and started dozing again. It was harder to sleep because of the noise, but soon Chakotay and Tom began talking again, about work, families, and mutual friends, and listening to them was a comfort. It made Kathryn realize that life was going on. No matter how bad things got for her, it was nice to know that life continued. It made her feel like someday things would be okay for her, for Chakotay.

What would she do when this was all over? What would Chakotay do? She had no idea, and the more she thought about it, the sadder it made her. She had grown fond of their relationship, and he was quickly becoming a huge part of her life.

But what was she to him? Just another day on the job. She felt her stomach fall at the thought. Was she experiencing Stockholm Syndrome? No, that was developing feelings for a captor. Chakotay was quite literally her knight in shining armor. It was natural to feel something for a man like that, wasn’t it? She mentally shook herself, realizing she was just overly tired, and continued listening to the two men talking.

They spoke about missing the annual FBI banquet happening tomorrow, and neither of them were overly upset about it.

“You’re welcome,” Kathryn spoke, and though her eyes were still shut, she heard them both chuckle. She continued to hear their voices in her periphery as she drifted between sleep and waking.

When she opened her eyes again the sky was lighter, and she guessed it was about six in the morning. They were flying west so the sky ahead was dark, but she could see the sun shining on the water below them as it rose behind them. She glanced over at Chakotay. He was sleeping, leaning against the window beside him, his arms crossed loosely across his chest. He looked peaceful, and as carefully as she could, Kathryn moved out of her seat and slid into the seat beside Tom. He glanced over with a gentle smile.

“Morning, sunshine. Sleep okay?” Kathryn nodded, looking out the window. Tom took a drink from a large canteen beside him, then held it up for Kathryn. She took it, taking a healthy swallow before putting it back. “How are you doing, Kathryn?”

It was a very blunt question, and took her a-back for a moment. “Well not bad I guess, considering I’m being hunted by the Russian mafia. I’m still alive, so I guess you guys are earning your paychecks.” Tom smiled as he studied the horizon. “Where are you from?”

“All over, really. I was born in North Carolina, grew up in DC, but moved to Atlanta after I got married. My wife is an agent too. I used to do what Chakotay does, but now I work behind the scenes, and so does my wife B’Elanna. You’ll probably meet her.” Kathryn was shocked that Tom was married to an agent and that she was involved in this too. 

“I’m so sorry. You must not get to see her very often.”

Tom smiled and it put her at ease, “More than you’d think. We have some time off coming up in a few weeks, so that will be nice.”

It was so odd to Kathryn to think of people going about their lives. Here was Tom, helping her escape the country, and run for her life, and then he and his wife would just head off on a camping trip or something...so strange.

Tom watched the horizon for a moment before glancing over at Kathryn, “You know how to fly a plane?” Kathryn shook her head, “Want to?”

Kathryn felt her heart flutter as adrenaline suddenly coursed through her, waking her up entirely. “Um, sure.” There was still nothing beneath them but water, and Kathryn turned in her seat to half face Tom.

“Take hold of the yoke in front of you there. Just hold it, don’t move it at all.” Butterflies fluttered in Kathryn’s stomach, but she did her best to stay calm and still. She reached out and took hold of the yoke and held it with both hands. It was interesting to feel the vibrations from the plane condensed into the small steering mechanism. “Got a feel for it? You’re gonna be surprised how natural it will feel.” He waited for her to acknowledge him. “Okay, now slowly pull it towards you, as slow and steady as you can.” She eyed him warily. He laughed softly, “Don’t worry, I have the controls here too. I won’t let anything happen.” Kathryn nodded and slowly pulled the controls towards her. The plane responded and immediately began to ascend.

It was one of the most incredible feelings ever; floating through the air like a bird, fully in control of the plane. Tom was right; it did feel natural. She stopped pulling and the plane leveled out. “Fantastic,” Tom let go of the controls, leaning back in his own seat. “Keep it steady, and wake me up when we land.” He closed his eyes and tipped his head to the side.

Kathryn didn’t say anything, panicking for a moment when he didn’t open his eyes and call it off as a joke. She watched the sky before her, then looked back over at her pilot. His eyes were still shut and he seemed quite relaxed. Realizing that he must trust the plane and the atmosphere if not Kathryn herself, she felt her heart rate slow a bit. He wouldn’t actually go to sleep and he would be right there to help if needed. Deciding to play along for a while, she tested the plane, pushing the yoke gently away from her and the plane descended slightly. As long as they were flying straight and with no turbulence, Kathryn didn’t mind holding the controls and enjoying this experience. 

There was water as far as she could see, but the sky was growing lighter and lighter as the sun rose behind them. She glanced at the watch on Tom’s wrist to see it was 6:45. Her guess had been close. She had no idea where they were in relation to where they needed to be, but for what it was worth, she _was_ enjoying herself. She wanted to ask Tom a dozen or more questions, but since he’d been flying for hours with no rest, she also wanted to give him a minute to relax. If the plane went into a nosedive, she figured, then she’d get his attention.

About twenty minutes later Kathryn could hear Tom snoring lightly, and found it funny that he actually felt comfortable enough with her at the controls to do so. Kathryn kept the plane steady, which wasn’t a difficult task since the air was relatively calm, and for that she was glad. Turbulence on a plane was unnerving enough as a passenger.

A few minutes later she heard movement behind her and Chakotay leaned forward to talk to Tom only to see that he was asleep. He turned to look at Kathryn, his eyes wide. Kathryn just grinned at him before turning her attention back to the sky before them.

“Kathryn, what on earth are you doing?” She could hear humor laced with genuine concern in his honeyed voice.

“I’m giving our pilot a break. He told me to wake him up when we land.” She paused, then looked over at Chakotay, “Do you know when that’s supposed to be? Do you know when we’re going to land? This is fun and all, but my bladder is really starting to get angry.”

“There is a bucket behind the back seat if you need it,” Tom spoke beside her, that blasted smile pulling his lips up as he opened his eyes. She arched an eyebrow at him.

“No thank you. I’ll hold it.” Tom chuckled but sat up, glancing at the dials and then out at the horizon.

“Actually, it’ll be soon. Look way out on the horizon. See?”

Kathryn squinted, but the sun was high enough now that she could just barely make out a mass in the distance; no doubt that’s where they were headed. She and her bladder said a silent prayer of thanks.

“If you don’t mind, co-pilot, I’ll take over from here. If we were landing on water I’d let you take her in, but off airport landing is harder. Maybe next time?” Kathryn nodded and fastened her seatbelt, opting to stay in the front seat for landing.

“Tom, in all the time we’ve been friends, you’ve _never_ offered to let me fly.” Tom bellowed out a laugh as he took hold of the yoke.

“Chakotay, that’s because when you took flight lessons, you never made it out of the simulator. How many planes did you crash in the sim? I lost count at eight.” Kathryn couldn’t hold back a chuckle as she turned around in her seat. Chakotay just shrugged sheepishly at her, his dimples tucking lightly into his cheeks.

They approached the coastline within fifteen minutes, and soon the ocean was behind them. The land that she’d seen approaching was now below them, and absolutely beautiful. The sharp cliffs raised up from the ocean, covered in rolling fields of green grass. Waves crashed against the rocks below, and Kathryn watched as the ocean disappeared behind them.

Ireland looked just as she’d imagined, there was a river off to the right and as the plane began to descend, she could see flocks of geese coasting down to land gracefully in the water. Just then the plane tipped down and to the left as Tom made course corrections to take them to wherever they were landing. Kathryn watched as they descended rapidly, a strip of dirt appeared before them; a small white building off to the left of what she supposed was the runway. 

The ground came up under them quickly and before long they touched down, bouncing lightly as the small plane hit the dirt. Kathryn had never been in so small a plane, so the landing was a bit rougher than she was anticipating, but soon enough they were slowing down and when they came to a stop, Tom quickly killed the plane engine.

He got out first and came around to open the door on Kathryn’s side. She hopped out gracefully, glad to be able to stretch her legs after so long in the air. Chakotay climbed out behind her, a bit more awkwardly and she watched as he stretched appreciatively. She figured his longer, bulkier body would be even more grateful for the reprieve of such a cramped space.

Kathryn looked around them; rolling fields of early growing grain surrounded the runway on all sides, and the white building she’d seen was near them, several dozen yards away.

Chakotay pulled their bags out of the plane and Kathryn glanced at Tom, “Where’s the lady’s room?” Just speaking the words caused her bladder to twinge uncomfortably.

Tom smiled, nodding towards the building, “Just inside there. Your bag is in there as well.” Kathryn turned on her heel and headed towards the small building, not bothering with the rest of his sentence. First things first.

The inside of the small building was just as plain as the outside. There was a small bathroom, the size of a phone booth, but she was happy to use it just the same. Once finished, she took her time looking around the rest of the small ‘airport.’ It looked as though it was an airport...maybe fifty years ago. The only signs of air traffic control was an old CB radio on a desk on the opposite wall, and it didn’t look like it even worked anymore. Kathryn figured the only air traffic this place ever saw was small planes like the one they’d just flown in, and even those seemed like they were probably few and far between.

The rest of the room was full of benches, and there were windows all the way around, save for two doors; the one Kathryn had entered, and one on the opposite wall. On one of the benches was a black duffel bag, and Tom’s words finally sank in. Walking over to the bag, she peered inside.

She couldn’t believe her eyes. It felt like Christmas morning. There were several tank tops and several blouses, a pair of shorts and two pairs of blue jeans. There were half a dozen pairs of underwear, very similar to the ones she currently had. She flushed and thought for a moment about calling Chakotay out for sneaking a peek at her unmentionables, since there were also two bras in the bag that were her size, but decided against it. Everything was her size, and she supposed it was part of Chakotay’s job to figure out clothing items for the people he was helping.

There was also a pale grey sweatshirt and black sweatpants, and a few pairs of socks. The last item, and one that she was instantly excited about was a small mp3 player and set of headphones. She had no idea what kind of music it was loaded with, but was eager to explore it when she had the time.

Kathryn surveyed all of her items for a moment before repacking the bag and heading back outside. Chakotay and Tom were still chatting, but walking towards the airport. Kathryn dropped her duffel when they reached her and wrapped her arms tight around Tom’s neck, pulling him close. He was surprised, but returned the hug, his own arms easily circling her small frame. 

“Thank you so much. Everything is perfect. It’s more than I could have ever asked for,” Tom let go of her and smiled.

“You are very welcome. We want you to be as comfortable as possible. It’s not much, but it’ll last until you can get a hold of more.” He looked satisfied that Kathryn was happy.

Kathryn then turned to Chakotay and pulled him into a hug as well, noticing how different his embrace felt from their pilot’s. “Thank you so much. I can’t even tell you that enough,” she whispered it in his ear so only he could hear her. “You’ll never know how much all of this means to me.” Kathryn felt tears well up in her eyes, so she pulled back quickly before he could respond. He smiled down at her bashfully, but she could see emotions swimming on his face as well.

“Well I want to hit the head before we go. There is a truck parked on the other side of the airport if you want to load your stuff in.” Kathryn nodded, reaching to take Chakotay’s bag as well. He handed it over with a smile of thanks and went inside with Tom.

Laden with all the bags, Kathryn made her way around the small building to find a dark grey pick up truck. It was old and rusty and felt oddly perfect for the scenery. Kathryn tossed both duffels into the bed, but kept her messenger bag with her.

The two men came out of the building a few minutes later, Chakotay holding a paper bag in his arms. “Breakfast,” he said simply when Kathryn gave him a questioning look. Chakotay opened the passenger door and put the bag on the seat, and Kathryn tossed her messenger bag on the floor.

Kathryn watched as Tom approached Chakotay, holding out his hand. Chakotay took it before pulling him into a hug as well. “Take care of yourself, Chakotay. Stay sharp,” he glanced over at Kathryn, “And take care of this one.” Kathryn smiled; she could see the strong bond the two men shared, and she felt oddly glad to be part of it, even if only for this short amount of time.

Chakotay let go of his hand and moved around to the driver’s side. Tom came up to Kathryn and she felt the tears burning again, but couldn’t stop a few from spilling. “Thank you so much, Tom. Please be safe.” She pulled him into another hug.

“Yes, ma’am.” He let his southern accent drawl through his words, and Kathryn chuckled through her tears. “You keep yourself safe. I hope to see you again some day.”

“I’d like that.” Kathryn answered, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

Chakotay started the engine and Kathryn got in the truck, rolling down her window. “Thank you again.” Tom nodded as Chakotay put the vehicle in drive and they began to move. Kathryn craned her neck as they drove to keep Tom in sight until they turned a corner and he disappeared.

She watched out the side window for a moment before turning to face forward once again. Chakotay glanced over, “Welcome to Ireland, Kathryn.”

She gave him a nod, then opened the paper bag to see what they had for breakfast.


	7. Chapter 7

They drove on through the morning and into the early afternoon. The Irish countryside was absolutely beautiful with its rolling hills of green. They passed over many old stone bridges traversing rivers and brooks, each more beautiful than the last.

There were several houses that they passed, all made of stone, and all looked to easily be several hundred years old. One of the houses closer to the road had a small fenced-in front yard and several small children were at play. As they drove past, the young boy turned and waved at Kathryn. She couldn’t help but smile and wave back. Chakotay chuckled at the sight of them. The children looked so carefree and happy, playing some made-up game in their front yard.

Into the afternoon they entered the small city of Crookstown. Kathryn chuckled at the name, but in truth it was a cute little village. They pulled up into a dirt parking lot behind a small craft and farm market, and after Chakotay got out and had a quick look around he came back to get Kathryn. She noticed that he tucked a small pistol into the small of his back in a hidden holster in his jeans, his t-shirt easily covering it. Together they walked towards the food stands.

They had everything a person could possibly want, and Kathryn’s eyes were definitely bigger than her stomach at this point. One stand was just fresh baked bread, another was all fruits and vegetables. Some stands had cured and smoked meats and jerky, and others had fresh made pies and aged cheeses. Kathryn chose a loaf of sourdough bread and smoked turkey. Chakotay bought a package of cherries, some mild cheddar cheese and a block of fudge. While Chakotay paid the various vendors for their food items, Kathryn browsed some of the clothing and fabric stands. An old woman worked behind a stall of quilts, and Kathryn stopped to look at them.

There were as many colors as there were fabrics as there were patterns; all sewn together into a cacophony of different size and shape quilts...and all beautiful.

Kathryn let her fingers slide over the different materials, marveling at the craftsmanship and skill. An old woman, wearing clothing equally colorful and skilfully made, approached her, holding up a creamy quilt adorned with blue and yellow stars.

“These are beautiful. Did you make them all?” Kathryn took hold of the quilt in the old woman’s hands. It was small, more the size of a lap blanket or shawl, and she marveled at the softness of the fabric.

“Yes, I make them all. I have arthritis in my hands. Knitting and quilting keeps my fingers limber.” She smiled proudly, “Can I interest you in any of them?” She turned to Kathryn, eager to help her pick something out.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Kathryn’s heart fell a bit, “I don’t have any money. I was really just browsing. Perhaps next time,” Kathryn said sadly, already extricating herself from the interaction.

“Hold on, now,” she felt a sturdy warm hand on her shoulder as a familiar voice spoke, “you have some money left.” Chakotay stood behind her, carrying a shopping bag full of their food purchases. He looked from the old woman back to Kathryn, “Pick out one that you like.” he leaned in to whisper, “Just make sure it will fit in your duffel bag.”

Kathryn smiled at him and looked back down at the quilts; there were so many to choose from. Her eyes roamed the colors and designs but quickly settled back to the one the old woman had offered her. It was quilted together with some type of batting filler that made the small quilt cushy, and it would lay nicely around her shoulders or across her lap. She held it up for Chakotay’s appraisal. “Looks like a good choice to me.” he turned then to the woman, “How much?”

He gave her the designated amount, plus a few bills extra. Kathryn folded the small blanket and tucked it under her arm, grateful to him for showing up and allowing her this small luxury. Once he was finished, Chakotay took her hand and they walked back towards the truck.

Kathryn remained silent after they began driving, turned at an angle in her seat so she could still look out the windshield, but her eyes kept falling on Chakotay.

“Out with it.”

She jumped as his voice pulled her from her thoughts “I’m sorry?”

“I can feel you looking at me. You want to say something,” his lips pulled up into a smile, “So...out with it.”

Kathryn watched him for a moment, then chuckled for being called out. “How did you know that market was there? I mean, do you come to Ireland that often? And the hotel in Germany, and the pharmacy that we stopped at? What about the cottage we stayed in yesterday? Who put food there? You seem more like a tour guide than an FBI agent.”

Chakotay chuckled at her sudden outpouring, “We have certain safe zones planned out all the time. I find out where our next one is right before we go there. I didn’t know the market was there, but it was a nice surprise. I’ve been to some places before, but most of them I haven’t. It’s not safe to show up multiple times in the same location, in case someone recognizes us. We try to set up many safe zones in many countries. Let’s just say you should be glad you didn’t witness an African mafia hit. We’d be on our own.” Kathryn chuckled at his joke.

“Well, I’ll remember that.” 

Kathryn opened the large paper bag of all of their food, rummaging around to see everything, “Let’s have a picnic,” she looked back up at Chakotay. “Come on, Commander, we have to eat anyway. We might as well enjoy it.”

Chakotay glanced over at Kathryn quickly, uncertainty drawing up his features, “I don’t know, Kathryn. We have a schedule to stick to.” Kathryn could tell he was actually thinking about it though, and when he looked at her again, she gave him the best expectant look she could muster.

That did it.

“Alright, let’s do it. I think I know a place you’ll like.”

Kathryn absolutely beamed at him, “I knew you had it in you.” She turned back to fully face the road, the smile never leaving her face.

About twenty minutes later Chakotay turned the old truck off the main road and down a dirt two-track that split off to the left. It wasn’t long until the two-track ended, and the beauty before her was astounding.

The dirt road ended in a field of green grass. It was maybe half the size of a football field, and surrounded by purple wildflowers. It reminded her of a Valery Rybakow painting she’d once seen in an art museum in New York. There were thousands of the fat purple blossoms around them and set against the blue of the sky and the green of the grass and pine trees in the distance, it was magical; their own little secluded paradise in the middle of Ireland. When Chakotay stopped the truck Kathryn got out and just stood in silence for a moment, taking in the beauty.

“What is this place?” She glanced across the hood of the truck at Chakotay, watching him watch her. She had no idea if or when he’d ever been here before, but in that moment she didn’t care. It was so beautiful, and there was no one else around, and no sounds except field birds chirping in the distance.

“I saw it on a map in Tom’s plane. While you were sleeping, I was looking at the map, figuring out where our next stop was, and I saw this park. I don’t remember the name of it, but I knew it was right outside the town we were just in, so I thought I would take a chance. I see you approve?” His dimples pressed into his face.

“Yes, I do. It’s wonderful,” she reached back into the truck for the food, “Let’s eat.”

They found a fairly flat spot several yards away from the truck and Kathryn spread out all of the food they had purchased, and they ate until they couldn’t eat anymore. Kathryn felt full and happy and when she’d finished she lay back in the grass to look up at the fluffy white clouds that floated across the sky. After a few minutes she closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of the sun on her face. Chakotay got up and packed up what they hadn’t eaten and put it back in the truck.

Chakotay came to stand nearby, and Kathryn could tell that he wanted them to get a move on, but was pausing for her benefit, allowing her a moment in the sun. She knew they had a timeline to keep to, but this was the first nearly perfect moment she’d felt since before all of this happened. With her eyes still shut, she reached a hand out, “Come lay down, just for a few minutes.” She didn’t watch, but could hear Chakotay chuckle lightly before she felt him lay down beside her. With her own contented smile, she opened her eyes to look up at the blue sky. “What would you be doing now? If you weren’t on the job?”

Chakotay hummed softly in his throat and though Kathryn didn’t look over, she could picture the look on his face as he contemplated her question. “I’d probably be back in Hawaii, spending time with my sister. I don’t get to see her very often. We’d probably be down at the beach; there’s a private spot the tourists don’t know about, and we usually go surfing. We’d spend the day on the water, seeing who could catch better barrels. Sekaya would easily catch better waves, since I’m out of practice, and she’d joke that I’m getting too old to keep up with her, so I’d wait until she was up and push her off her board.” He chuckled, his mind slipping back into the realm of memories, “We’d finish the day with reef cuts and board rashes, but we’d be together.”

Kathryn could hear the emotion deepening his voice; such a mundane activity as surfing with his sister brought such longing to him, she could practically feel it pressing down on both of them. She was nearly desperate at that moment to reach out and take his hand, but knew it wasn’t her place, so instead she answered honestly, “That sounds really nice.”

“I think you’d love it there. The tourist aspects of Hawaii are lovely, but there are so many little out of the way places that only the locals know about.” He finally turned to look at Kathryn and she mirrored his movements, not realizing how close he was. “I’d love to show you all my old haunts.”

She smiled softly at him, “I’d like that.” Though she meant the words, the sentiment made her sad somehow. She was in no position to expect that of him, and it wasn’t as if she could consult her date book for the best time to travel to Hawaii with Chakotay to meet his family. When this was over, in all likelihood, they would never see each other again. She would go back to her life, and he would go back to his, no doubt protecting someone else from impending doom.

“What about you?” His voice almost took her by surprise.

“What about me, what?”

“If you weren’t here right now, what would you be doing?” The intensity of his gaze was too much, and Kathryn had to look away, back to the blue sky above them.

“I’d probably be at work,” she chuckled ruefully.

“What do you do? I can’t believe I haven’t asked you before now.”

“Uh, I’m an astrophysicist instructor at the Naval Observatory.”

Chakotay’s jaw dropped open as he sat up to look down at her, “You’re kidding.”

Kathryn chuckled, sitting up as well. “No, I’m not. I’ve been an instructor there for the last five years.”

Chakotay just shook his head, at a loss for what to say, “I...Kathryn that’s amazing. I’ve never met an astrophysicist before. I’m afraid I don’t know exactly what one does, or what to even ask you about it.”

Kathryn chuckled, standing up to stretch, “That’s alright. Most people don’t. My father was in the Air Force until he died, so the service is in my blood. He wasn’t thrilled when I chose the Navy instead, but he made his peace with it.”

Chakotay stood up too, keeping his eyes on her face. Neither spoke anymore, but the air was charged around them, with what she wasn’t sure. “Well, we should probably hit the road.” Chakotay finally spoke. Kathryn nodded and they packed up the rest of their stuff and headed towards the truck.

“Do you want me to drive at all?”

“No,” Chakotay smiled, “That’s okay. I’m fine for now, but I’ll let you know, okay?” His dimples flashed into being, “I’m used to doing a lot of driving.” He got in and started the engine, pulled the truck into a u-turn and headed back to the main road. As they drove, Kathryn began to feel drowsy again, and before long she was dozing.

When she woke her head was leaning against the window. Kathryn opened her eyes and stretched, not sure how long she’d been asleep, but it felt like longer than she’d expected. She stretched her arms, squinting as the sun shone brightly through the windshield as it slipped lower in the sky. Chakotay was squinting as well. “There might be some sunglasses in the glove box.”

Kathryn pulled it open, but only found one pair, “You can use them. I can squint.” She looked around for road signs or any other indicator of their location, but all she saw were more rolling fields of green grasses and pastureland. Save for one car a ways behind them, they were the only vehicle on the road. “Where are we?” She asked, rolling her window down for some fresh air.

“We’re almost to our stop for the night. We’re staying in a town called Derreen. From there we fly to the states.” Chakotay looked in the rearview and then back to the road before them. “It’s about another thirty minutes.”

Kathryn leaned back in the seat with a smile, letting her eyes fall shut again. If she had left them open she would have had only a split second more to react, but without any warning she was thrown forward into her seatbelt. It tore into her shoulder and ribcage, and her heart was immediately hammering in her chest as her eyes flew open. Another black car had pulled in front of them and slammed on the brakes. Kathryn glanced over at Chakotay, but he was focused on the car in front of them. Her gaze followed his to the vehicle before them. She could make out three people. One of them turned around.

“Kathryn, get down!” Chakotay yelled with such panic that for a moment she froze, but then ducked in her seat just as the first bullet came through the windshield and went out the back, right where her head had been. She turned awkwardly to look up at Chakotay. He had a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel with one hand while he groped for his gun with the other. Then another bullet came through from the back of the truck and Chakotay cried out. She looked at him, but he seemed to be fine, but she realized that they now had two vehicles after them.

Chakotay continued to drive, and Kathryn reached for the gun that Chakotay had just gotten hold of.

“Chakotay, I have an idea,” she pulled the gun from his grip, “On the count of three I’m going to sit up and you slam on the brakes, okay?” He nodded, and though she wasn’t sure if he fully grasped her words, her tone told him all that he needed to know in that moment. She checked the slide quickly to make sure there was a round in the chamber, and that the safety was off. “Alright. One. Two. Three.”

Several things happened at once. She jerked into an upright position just as Chakotay hit the brakes, and he hit them hard. The car behind them also slammed on their brakes, but not quickly enough, and they came crashing into the back bumper of the truck. Kathryn’s seatbelt locked instantly and she felt like it very well might tear her in half, but she spun in her seat and leaned out the open window, aiming at the driver in the car behind them. She couldn’t see his face, but he wore sunglasses and she lined up the sights right between them and fired. The passenger fired at the same moment and Kathryn felt the bullet graze her left shoulder just as her shot found its mark. Ignoring the burning pain in her shoulder, she turned back around.

The car in front of them had sped away but Chakotay quickly caught back up and Kathryn leaned out the window again. Before any of the passengers of the lead car could fire, Kathryn fired at their rear tire. Rubber went flying as the driver lost control of the vehicle; it swerved violently to the right and Kathryn watched as it careened over the embankment and was lost down into a large gulley at the side of the road.

Chakotay accelerated away from the accident and pulled his cellphone out of his pocket, punching only one number before sending the call.

Kathryn looked down at her left shoulder, watching as blood ran unfettered down her arm, and she had nothing to clean it with. She just stared at the red stain as it spread, dripping off her elbow onto the upholstery of the bench seat. After just another second Chakotay spoke.

“This is agent Dorvan. We need evacuation now!”


	8. Chapter 8

Chakotay pressed the accelerator harder as they sped on down the road. Kathryn’s heart was hammering in her chest as her adrenaline began to wane, leaving her limbs heavy and numb. She still held Chakotay’s pistol in her hand, though she had no immediate desire to put it down. She stared out the windshield in a daze, not even feeling the gunshot wound on her shoulder or the pieces of broken glass no doubt cutting into her flesh. After a moment Chakotay glanced over.

“Kathryn, are you okay?” He kept looking between the road before them and her still form. She couldn’t bring herself to speak, so she just nodded. He reached over, having noticed her bleeding, and wiped her arm off before wiping his hand on his jeans. Kathryn watched, seeing her blood soaking into the denim of his pants seemed to knock her mind loose. She felt tremors overtake her body, and as she dropped his pistol on the floor of the truck, she barely had time to stick her head out the window before losing the contents of her stomach.

She closed her eyes and retched, again and again. All she could see in her mind’s eye was the driver of the car behind them just before she put a bullet through his head. Rationally she understood that she had to do it, but she’d killed a man none-the-less. She and Chakotay were alive because of her actions, but another man was not.

When her stomach was empty and there was nothing but the taste of bile in her mouth she leaned back in the truck, falling lifeless against the seat. She closed her eyes again, but that didn’t help. She had killed a man. Regardless of the fact that he wanted to kill the two of them, she had killed him.

“Kathryn, look at me.” She couldn’t do it. She didn’t deserve that honey voice speaking soothing words of comfort. She pulled her knees up to her chest, burying her face between them as the tears started to fall. She could hear Chakotay’s voice, but didn’t know what he was saying. She felt his hand come up to smooth over her hair, but she couldn’t bear to look at him. All she wanted to do was escape her body. Escape this truck. Escape her life. But here she was, still on the run for her life, even more seriously than she had thought. She had almost been killed tonight, and it felt like only a matter of time before it would actually happen. Only a few hours ago they had been lying side by side watching a beautiful sky, and now this. What was the point of running if it put other people in danger? What would have happened if there had been other people traveling the road at the same time?

“There weren’t, Kathryn. You aren’t putting anyone in danger. This is my job, and I’ll do anything to keep you safe.” She hadn’t realized she’d been speaking her thoughts aloud, but she must have, because Chakotay was answering her. “Kathryn, look at me.” This time she complied. “We will get through this. There is a helicopter on its way to pick us up. I don’t know how those men found us, but we just have to change our plans, that’s all. If we just stay one step ahead of them, then we can beat this.” He took hold of her hand and squeezed it. “I will keep you safe, Kathryn. I promise.” His dark brown eyes bore into hers, and although she was still numb, she believed him, and clung to his words with every fiber of her being. She kept his hand tight in hers as they drove on.

After about twenty more minutes they pulled off the main road down another dirt road, and Kathryn felt her senses heighten. It had grown dark as they drove, and her eyes darted back and forth between the side mirrors and the front windshield, seeking out anyone that might be following them, but saw nothing. Deep down she knew she wouldn’t, but she kept her eyes on the mirrors. Finally they pulled into a dark field. It looked like it was completely dirt, but it was hard to tell in the dark. Chakotay parked at the edge near the tree-line, and opened his cell phone. He punched in several numbers, then lay the device on the seat. He got out and Kathryn followed out his door to avoid the broken glass on her side. Chakotay had tucked his gun back into the holster at his back and moved to pull open the toolbox of the truck, removing both of their bags. Kathryn dragged her messenger bag behind her, and he took that silently as well. Taking her hand again, he pulled her into the blackness of the thick trees.

Once they were hidden in the shadows, Chakotay set their bags down and then sat down himself, pulling Kathryn to sit down beside him. He pulled the canteen out of his own bag and handed it over to Kathryn. She realized then that she still had the taste of bile in her mouth. Taking the metal container, she filled her mouth with the cool water, allowing it to play over her tongue before spitting it out beside her. Her stomach roiled at the feel of the liquid in her mouth, and she knew trying to swallow any of it would be a bad idea.

Kathryn felt incredibly small and helpless in the darkness, but Chakotay reached into her own bag and pulled out her blanket; the beautifully stitched creation he’d bought for her just earlier that day. Gently, to avoid her wounded arm, he draped the blanket around her shoulders, pulling it around her for the warmth it would afford her. She pulled it tightly around her, leaning heavily into Chakotay’s sturdy body, thankful for the silent comfort he provided.

After a moment's silence she glanced up to see his face in the filtered moonlight when a shadow across his face caught her attention. Reaching up to his ear, her fingers met crusted blood there, and Chakotay let out a soft hiss of pain, flinching away from her touch. Dread flooded her at the thought of how close he’d come to dying earlier. A bullet had grazed her arm, but another had nearly taken his life. The thought that he was that close to death scared Kathryn beyond any fear she’d felt so far. She couldn’t lose Chakotay. He was the only constant thing in her life, and if something were to happen to him...she couldn’t let the thought take root. Fighting against the idea as hard as she could, she started to shake as silent sobs overtook her small frame. Chakotay reached an arm around her and pulled her close again, doing all he could to force calm and comfort into her. He whispered words she didn’t understand, but the balm of security they provided eased her discomfort a fraction.

Not five minutes later the sounds of a helicopter rotor approached from the west. It landed in the middle of the dirt field near where their truck was parked. Once the rotors stopped moving, Chakotay got to his feet and pulled Kathryn up. He took hold of all the bags again and began walking, leaving Kathryn holding the blanket around her shoulders to follow behind him. Chakotay approached the helicopter and pulled the door open, allowing Kathryn to climb in before him. He helped her with her seatbelt and buckled himself in after. The pilot did not get out to greet them as Tom had done, nor did he even acknowledge their presence, other than waiting for a sign from Chakotay that they were both aboard and ready to go.

Just as quickly as the rotors slowed they sped up again; their pilot re-engaging the engine and within moments they were airborne. It was loud in the small aircraft, and they had no headphones or microphones to speak to one another, so they sat in silence. Kathryn had no idea where they were going, and she didn’t care. She knew they couldn’t fly all the way to America in a helicopter this small. She stared blankly out the window, and though she could tell Chakotay was looking at her in the small dark space, she couldn’t bring herself to look back at him. He needed reassurance that she was going to be alright, and she couldn’t give that to him at the moment. Even if she wanted to talk to him, she couldn’t, and he couldn’t hear her anyways. For the time being they were frozen, suspended in air and time in this tiny space in this tiny moment in history, somewhere between Russia and the USA. Kathryn didn't know what was going to happen to her, and she barely had the strength to care. No matter what happened to her, the world would keep spinning and people’s lives would go on. What did it even matter in the big scope of things? Was she any better than the men that had killed Kes? She had killed a man today.

Chakotay remained silent and still at her side, and stayed so until they landed nearly two hours later.

=/\=

They touched down in a field very similar to the one which they had taken off from, and Kathryn was roused out of her daze when they touched down. The pilot turned and handed Chakotay a sealed envelope without a word or even a glance at Kathryn. Chakotay nodded, pulling open the door and getting out, holding it open to help Kathryn out as well.

The pilot hadn’t even bothered slowing the rotors, and barely after they were clear the helicopter took off again. Kathryn had the urge to turn and give the pilot a one finger salute, but she didn’t have the energy. 

There was a sparse smattering of pine trees that they walked through, and it was hard to see in the dark. Kathryn could feel the needles scraping her face and hands, but she followed behind Chakotay just the same, pulling her blanket tighter around her shoulders. Chakotay would turn occasionally to make sure Kathryn was still there, and it bothered her how haggard he looked. She hadn’t seen him like this before. She felt bad for her sulking, but she couldn’t help it. She didn’t know what to say or do to alleviate this feeling of hopelessness that had settled about them, and it seemed that Chakotay didn’t either, so they continued in silence.

After a few more minutes they emerged from the trees into a deserted parking lot. There were a dozen or so cars parked there, and Kathryn had no idea which one was meant for them. Chakotay opened the envelope the pilot had provided and pulled out a key fob. Pressing the unlock button, a plain looking Mercedes chirped, its lights giving a quick flash. They both walked towards it and Chakotay popped the trunk, dropping their bags inside. Kathryn glanced at the other vehicles, believing they were probably all planted there by the FBI as decoys, most likely to be driven off when the morning came.

Kathryn sat down in the passenger seat, the blanket still around her shoulders. It felt stiff and sticky from the dried blood, but she didn’t care. It was warm, and she pulled her seatbelt on over it as Chakotay slipped silently into the driver’s seat.

He started the engine and flipped on the dome light, removing the rest of the contents from the envelope. There was a map with a black ‘X’ over the city of Glasgow. There were two smaller envelopes with airline markings on them...no doubt plane tickets. There were also two passports, and Kathryn was shocked to see her photo in one of them. It was a picture from her college graduation; and although her hair was longer now, it was her, smiling slightly up off the page. There was a key and a business card for a small motel, and Chakotay turned it over to see the number ‘6’ written on it. There was also a large amount of cash. Most of it was American currency, but some of it she didn’t recognize. Chakotay put everything back into the larger manilla envelope and put it in the back seat before turning off the dome light, and pulling out of the lot.

Within fifteen minutes they were pulling into the small parking lot of the Lazy Loft Motel. Chakoyay took all of the bags and Kathryn carried the envelope, having removed the hotel room key.

There was an old man sitting behind the reception desk, but they both walked past him without a word, and down the short hallway. At room six they stopped, and Kathryn used the key to unlock the door. It was an actual key, not a plastic keycard, and after unlocking the door they both went inside. Chakotay locked the door behind them as Kathryn flipped on the light. There was a small bathroom off to one side, and a lone queen bed in the middle of the room. A vague part of Kathryn’s mind cringed at the idea of only one bed, but the rest of her was too tired and sore and hopeless to care.

Kathryn tossed the envelope on the bed and Chakotay set down their bags at the foot of the bed, not sure what to do or say to her. He watched silently as she peeled the blanket off her shoulders and looked at it. Her blood stained the beautiful fabric, and she wadded it up and threw it in the wastebasket inside the bathroom before going in and closing the door.

Kathryn turned the shower on and after quickly using the toilet she stepped into the stream of water. It was hot, nearly too hot to bear, but it felt good, because it felt like...something. The bullet wound on her arm stung as the spray hit it, and she scrubbed it until it was raw, as well as the smaller cuts on her arms and legs from the broken window of the truck. She relished in the feeling of the pain. It made her feel alive. After washing her hair she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. She wrapped one towel around her hair and another around her body, finally realizing that she’d left her bag in the main room. With a grimace and a deep breath, she opened the door and went back out.

Chakotay was sitting on the bed studying the map, but looked up when Kathryn came out of the bathroom. She cringed when he sucked in a breath, realizing the towel didn’t cover as much as she’d hoped. She pulled it as securely as she could while taking hold of her bag and fleeing back into the bathroom. She felt her cheeks pink as she closed the door.

As quickly as she could she pulled on one of her tank tops and a pair of sweatpants. They were a bit too long so she rolled the waist down several times until she could walk without tripping. After brushing her teeth she put her jeans and shoes back in her bag, but threw away her shirt. Her shoulder was still bleeding after her rough treatment of it, so she pulled a wad of toilet paper off the roll and held it to her arm. She sighed and opened the door, taking her bag back out into the main room.

Kathryn sat down on the other side of the bed in silence, not wanting to look at Chakotay’s haggard face. Not once had she asked how he was feeling, if he was in pain, was he scared, was he okay, and she felt awful about it now. Chakotay, of course, was watching her like a hawk and noticed her holding the toilet paper to her arm.

“Kathryn, let me see that,” she dropped her hand and felt blood trickle down her arm again. Chakotay sprung into action, moving to his own bag and pulling out a rudimentary first aid kit. “Why didn’t you tell me it was still bleeding?” The concern in his voice was almost too much to bear, so she just shook her head. He pulled open a piece of gauze and wiped it up her arm to clean off the blood before pressing it to her wound.

“It’s really not that bad,” she finally whispered out on a sigh as he pulled out another piece of gauze and some tape. He coated the next one with peroxide and dapped at the tear in her skin, watching as the wound bubbled slightly.

“Hold that there,” he spoke gently as she took hold of it and pressed the fresh gauze to her arm. Chakotay tore several pieces of tape to length before swapping out one more piece of gauze, letting Kathryn hold it while he taped it in place. After he was finished he cleaned up the mess and threw everything away before coming back to kneel before her. “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Kathryn nodded, watching him take his own bag into the bathroom and close the door. Once she heard the water turn on she pulled the towel off her hair and shook it out, not having a comb or brush and not really caring anyways. Tossing the towel on the floor she turned on her side away from the bathroom door, snuggling under the covers and closing her eyes. She tried desperately to fall asleep before Chakotay came out of the bathroom, but it was only a few minutes later and the water turned off again, and within another two or three minutes she heard the door open and Chakotay’s weight drop down on the mattress beside her. She didn’t turn around, but she could tell he was watching her in the low light of the room.

“Kathryn, will you please talk to me?” She could hear the desperation and concern in his voice, and she was afraid if she said more than a few words, she herself would break down. She was barely clinging to sanity as it was. “Kathryn, please.”

“I have nothing to say.” It was barely a whisper, but she hoped it conveyed her feelings so he wouldn’t keep pushing. He was silent for a moment, and she could feel him thinking.

“The first time I killed a man was eight years ago. I was right out of the FBI Academy special ops training, on my first assignment. My partner and I were in Mexico, fairly close to Cancun. We were undercover infiltrating a cocaine smuggling ring moving drugs from Columbia to Louisiana. It was the day of the bust, and someone tipped off the drug runners that we were coming, so they were ready for us. It was a bloodbath right from the start. As soon as we entered the warehouse, machine guns were firing. One of the drug movers attacked my partner, and just as he was tackling her I shot him in the head. He fell on top of my partner, and as I was running over to check on her, I was shot in the leg. I woke up in the hospital the next morning. My partner was in the bed next to me. She had been shot in the arm, but other than that she was okay. What we didn’t know until much later was that the man I shot was HIV positive, and his blood had flowed into the wound my partner had sustained. I killed that man that day, and he’s slowly killing my friend every day. One of my best friends has HIV because of me.” His voice trailed off, and Kathryn looked over at him, wiping a tear from her eyes.

“But if you wouldn’t have shot him, he would have killed your partner.” She was justifying his actions and her own at the same time without even realizing it.

“I know that, and she bears no grudge against me, but I think about her every day, and the struggle she goes through every day as the disease fights to ravage her body. She’s dying because of me, but she’s also alive because of me too.” He looked into Kathryn’s eyes, “So you might feel awful for shooting that man, but don’t forget, you weren’t just saving your own life out there. You saved my life too.” He cupped her face gently, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone. “Bottom line; you never know what’s going to happen, but you have to go with your instincts, and that’s what you did. You were put in a life or death situation, and you reacted, and you’re still alive. So am I. So in my opinion, you made the right choice.” He leaned back down into the pillows, looking up at the ceiling.

Kathryn watched his face for a moment before laying back down. She had a lot to think about, and Chakotay could tell that he’d finally gotten through her despair. Pulling the blankets up over both of them, he turned off the light.

“Goodnight, Kathryn. Tomorrow is a brand new day,” he settled into his own pillows, closing his eyes to the darkness, “Though at some point you need to tell me where you learned to shoot like that.” She could hear the smile in his voice and she couldn’t help but reciprocate it in the dark room.

Listening to his breathing even out as he fell asleep, Kathryn soon followed him into slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for following along with my stories. I'm sorry I've been kind of AWOL this week. I found out last Monday that a very dear friend of mine passed away suddenly, and it really threw a kink into my life in general, let alone my writing mojo. I haven't been in the mood for much of anything this past week. I'm not telling you this to glean sympathy or anything, I just kind of want you to know where my mind is, and to explain my random and sporadic updates. I'm not really in the mood to write fluff or smut right now...so we'll see what happens. I miss writing, and hope to get back in the groove soon. Thank you all for being amazing. I adore you all! xoxo


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